The Tarck as Fuck Bikes Thread

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NOVELTYNAME
NOVELTYNAME's picture

That story was cool but it would have been cooler if you hi-5'd while doing push-ups

"Folks want options!"

Wed, 08/30/2017 - 14:40
Andrew_Squirrel
Andrew_Squirrel's picture

TC: we definitely high fived at the end!

Wed, 08/30/2017 - 19:19
eric_ssucks
eric_ssucks's picture

That story would have been cooler if there was some sexual tension added in the retelling.

Wed, 08/30/2017 - 20:48
Endpoint
Endpoint's picture

"The scent of grandpa's pine tar wonder soap and sweat was heavy in the air..."

Wed, 08/30/2017 - 22:56
Sneaky Viking
Sneaky Viking's picture

"I'm not sure why, but I suddenly felt the need to reach down and check that my Gransfors Bruk Hunter's Axe was by my side. The comfortable heft of its shaft reassuringly filled my hand as I removed it first from my Sackville Sack, and then its own snug sheath. I had split wood with it many times, but butt his would be the first time I used it on... tension."

ckd wrote:
I mean, seriously. We're just a bunch of washed up bicycle burnout dipshits.

Wed, 08/30/2017 - 23:17
Face
Face's picture

ITT: Tarck writes a Rivromanceur novel.

Mr. Pubes wrote:
i fear that you are so lost in your own asshole that you may never be found again. do you have a flare gun? send for help.

Thu, 08/31/2017 - 05:51
jeffro
jeffro's picture

Pushups are more comfortable if you pop your shirts off. High-fives, too.

Realtalk: Friday is bow tie day at work, as our Spirit Committee struggles to come up with ideas to staunch the Esprit de Corp bleeding. Wanna show up up wearing one sans shirt, Chippendales style.

Thu, 08/31/2017 - 07:23
jamesacklin
jamesacklin's picture

50 Shades of Gray, but they use twine and shellac, and they only eat bacon

Thu, 08/31/2017 - 07:25
NOVELTYNAME
NOVELTYNAME's picture

Lol

"Folks want options!"

Thu, 08/31/2017 - 10:22
eric_ssucks
eric_ssucks's picture

More like 50 shades of musa, with socks and sandals.

Thu, 08/31/2017 - 10:25
Shortpants
Shortpants's picture

I spent like 2 hours looking for a clip from Strangers with Candy that this whole scene reminded me of.

Fri, 09/01/2017 - 15:52
akasnowmaaan
akasnowmaaan's picture
(Reply to #4512)

Sneaky Viking wrote:
"I'm not sure why, but I suddenly felt the need to reach down and check that my Gransfors Bruk Hunter's Axe was by my side. The comfortable heft of its shaft reassuringly filled my hand as I removed it first from my Sackville Sack, and then its own snug sheath. I had split wood with it many times, but butt his would be the first time I used it on... tension."

Dinosaur sex erotica sells like hotcakes on Amazon. I say go for it and make a novella.

Should have said it was just a cross check with different geometry. - Todd

Sun, 09/03/2017 - 14:17
JLN
JLN's picture
(Reply to #4513)

akasnowmaaan wrote:
Sneaky Viking wrote:
"I'm not sure why, but I suddenly felt the need to reach down and check that my Gransfors Bruk Hunter's Axe was by my side. The comfortable heft of its shaft reassuringly filled my hand as I removed it first from my Sackville Sack, and then its own snug sheath. I had split wood with it many times, but butt his would be the first time I used it on... tension."

Dinosaur sex erotica sells like hotcakes on Amazon. I say go for it and make a novella.

Quote:
Taken by the Pterodactyl (Dinosaur Erotica)
Misleading
ByNeuroRuon October 26, 2013
I am very upset because a pterodactyl is technically not a dinosaur it is a pterosaur. This should be classified under pterosaur erotica.

Mon, 09/04/2017 - 19:31
Sneaky Viking
Sneaky Viking's picture

that 'but butt' was totally Freudian slip tbh

ckd wrote:
I mean, seriously. We're just a bunch of washed up bicycle burnout dipshits.

Mon, 09/04/2017 - 20:39
johnasavoia
johnasavoia's picture
Sun, 09/10/2017 - 17:26
iwillbe
iwillbe's picture
(Reply to #4516)

johnasavoia wrote:
Intec - Randolino - 650B by eisenbart, on Flickr

clicked through to Flickr - those are some really disappointing patches on that bag.

Sun, 09/10/2017 - 19:25
johnasavoia
johnasavoia's picture

Ew yikes... didn't see that.

Sun, 09/10/2017 - 19:33
mander
mander's picture

Pinch zoom zoom aw shit

Sun, 09/10/2017 - 21:30
Endpoint
Endpoint's picture

Everything about that bike sucks.

Lord help them if they ever discover this corner of the internet.

Sun, 09/10/2017 - 22:31
jamey
jamey's picture

Gorilla Biscuits appropriation

truckdoug "never turn down free beer, dont stick your dick where you wouldnt put your face, and always ride shimano"

Sun, 09/10/2017 - 23:32
Guy
Guy's picture

Wed, 11/22/2017 - 00:29
NOVELTYNAME
NOVELTYNAME's picture

Would

"Folks want options!"

Wed, 11/22/2017 - 12:11
iwillbe
iwillbe's picture

prefer the fade paint jobs they were offering last (?) year. Hand painted frames like that look really cool on a detail-by-detail basis, but sort of muddy and confused as a complete bike.

Wed, 11/22/2017 - 13:38
jeffro
jeffro's picture

Sikk

Wed, 11/22/2017 - 13:44
Guy
Guy's picture
(Reply to #4525)

iwillbe wrote:
prefer the fade paint jobs they were offering last (?) year. Hand painted frames like that look really cool on a detail-by-detail basis, but sort of muddy and confused as a complete bike.

Fades are still in. This one was custom painted by Land Shark (by John's daughter, actually).

Wed, 11/22/2017 - 17:26
cousinmosquito
cousinmosquito's picture

More wonderful than you can believe it

Sun, 11/26/2017 - 14:48
yonderboy
yonderboy's picture

BFSSFG flashback with the turbospok.

Sun, 11/26/2017 - 16:39
liquify
liquify's picture

Wed, 11/29/2017 - 14:48
Viggen
Viggen's picture

Dang ol yup.

A friend of mine here in Åre just bought a P7 to complement his Stage 6...#ballin

Whippin Skidz wrote:
This is tarck, there is a complicated solution to everything and we will endlessly discuss until an agreed upon solution has been tabled. This is out of your hands now.

Wed, 11/29/2017 - 17:39
jdsmooth
jdsmooth's picture

english hardtails so hawt

Five-foot drops at speed on unstable terrain? Yep.

Thu, 11/30/2017 - 11:38
newellbt

Tue, 12/05/2017 - 14:12
NOVELTYNAME
NOVELTYNAME's picture

Taf?

"Folks want options!"

Tue, 12/05/2017 - 14:21
shane.rrr
shane.rrr's picture

I like that bike. What tires?

Tue, 12/05/2017 - 14:22
Perlhammered
Perlhammered's picture

Soma Cazaderos

Tue, 12/05/2017 - 14:44
newellbt
(Reply to #4535)

NOVELTYNAME wrote:
Taf?

I put it in here because I thought this thread was for bieks that tarck would like. I have no idea what bunches of the threads are for and my posts will likely end up reflecting that.

Tue, 12/05/2017 - 14:56
jdsmooth
jdsmooth's picture

This wood qualify for "Badass MoFo steamroller O' the day."
TAF is a multi-chromatic affair

Five-foot drops at speed on unstable terrain? Yep.

Tue, 12/05/2017 - 15:06
fixed
fixed's picture

yes garish colors are a prerequisite to being TAF
also not being shitty is a requirement

Tue, 12/05/2017 - 15:37
Tail Hook Lengthener
Tail Hook Lengthener's picture

It may be be a $2300 steel hardtail, but...



Sneaky Viking wrote:
when you look back at your life sometimes you see a set of hands on your keyboard and a set of paws, but sometimes there's only a set of paws and that's when Tarckbear was typing for you.

Sat, 12/16/2017 - 10:22
ThurberMingus
ThurberMingus's picture

$2300 and no dropper? Ugh.

That’s still a pretty good looking Karate Monkey though.

Sat, 12/16/2017 - 12:07
Tail Hook Lengthener
Tail Hook Lengthener's picture

At least they didn't derp up the dropouts too bad.

Sneaky Viking wrote:
when you look back at your life sometimes you see a set of hands on your keyboard and a set of paws, but sometimes there's only a set of paws and that's when Tarckbear was typing for you.

Sat, 12/16/2017 - 12:08
guccipolo

would rather have a big honzo

Sat, 12/16/2017 - 13:44
Larry Winget
Larry Winget's picture

Of course it's an All-City.

The Pitbull of Personal Development®

Sat, 12/16/2017 - 14:18
sparksflyhigh
sparksflyhigh's picture

You can get a trance 3 for that money

Sat, 12/16/2017 - 14:25
oogens
oogens's picture

cool looking bike, but there's no way $2300 is reasonable

I expect to see many on pinkbike in a couple years after all the stock is bought on clearance by shopbros

Sat, 12/16/2017 - 14:34
iwillbe
iwillbe's picture
(Reply to #4545)

oogens wrote:
cool looking bike, but there's no way $2300 is reasonable

I expect to see many on pinkbike in a couple years after all the stock is bought on clearance by shopbros

Hot Take: most QBP brands' models are a massive shopbro scam to get employee pricing + closeout on decent bikes. Can't make them too amazing or they'd sell out

Sat, 12/16/2017 - 15:07
guccipolo

It'll have a similar fate to the Log Lady. Super hyped, sold out first run, then sits in the Q catalog until being blown out for 20% off to all the shop bros.

If anyone wants a Log Lady, they're finally reasonably priced.

Sat, 12/16/2017 - 15:07
Tail Hook Lengthener
Tail Hook Lengthener's picture
(Reply to #4547)

guccipolo wrote:
It'll have a similar fate to the Log Lady. Super hyped, sold out first run, then sits in the Q catalog until being blown out for 20% off to all the shop bros.

This, 100%. There’s a small little hype train around All City that’ll consume the first in the TAF colorways, and there’ll be a big blast of smiling tattooed hipsters on Insta. Then they’ll be restocked at Q and no one will care because anyone who knows shit knows that bike is a rip off and the early adopters were just in it for the colors. It happens with basically everything All City does.

Sneaky Viking wrote:
when you look back at your life sometimes you see a set of hands on your keyboard and a set of paws, but sometimes there's only a set of paws and that's when Tarckbear was typing for you.

Sat, 12/16/2017 - 15:33
jawn doe
jawn doe's picture

still dumb though. you couldn't make the log lady cheap enough for me to buy it.

Sat, 12/16/2017 - 15:36
mdilthey
mdilthey's picture

TC: I would rather have a Karate Monkey

26/M/41t N/W

Sat, 12/16/2017 - 15:47
JUGE FREDD
JUGE FREDD's picture

$2300 with a sunrace cassette and a Reba

but just in time for Ritchey getting out of the sick fade market

It's a struggle, but you cut out his tongue, and his last words are "atmo atmo Atmo ATMO ATMOOOOOGORIHGGHRSHGGRLMGGMMGMgrrglegurglegrr....."
– akasnowmaaan

Sat, 12/16/2017 - 17:45

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