the velo orange x tarck llc business venture thread

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NOVELTYNAME
NOVELTYNAME's picture
the velo orange x tarck llc business venture thread

you all know tarck is an llc and we work primarily as the internet's well informed bicycle nerdery peanut gallery

as of late there were rumors and conspiracy theories that our words were read and repeated by big players in the bicycle industry

one of those players is velo orange and a representative of that company has oficially logged into tarck to play nice (and not try to debunk canti-gate*)

i formally propose that velo orange begin discussions with the elders for tarck-developed and -approved products, made for the marketplace.

Wed, 04/25/2018 - 16:26
Petr5
Petr5's picture

nope

Sneaky Viking wrote:
"Your bike sucks and we have a team of biased experts to pseudo-scientifically test that hypothesis, all in blue shirts."

Wed, 04/25/2018 - 16:40
asterisk
asterisk's picture

650B fenders in 60mm width that have a lip on both sides and the same arc/coverage as the smaller sizes. There are tens of us who may buy these (although it's probably higher than a year ago?)

Wed, 04/25/2018 - 16:40
Mr. Pubes
Mr. Pubes's picture

i shouldnt have to brush my teeth any more. there should be a pill. its 2018 ffs.

Wed, 04/25/2018 - 16:44
thurston
thurston's picture
(Reply to #4)

Mr. Pubes wrote:
i shouldnt have to brush my teeth any more. there should be a pill. its 2018 ffs.

Rusty Piton wrote:
The only thing I hate more than ukulele covers are fucking acapella covers

Wed, 04/25/2018 - 16:48
kmcdon
kmcdon's picture

Low-trail conversion forks that don't suck and have disc mounts.

and internal dyno routing.

Wed, 04/25/2018 - 16:50
eric_ssucks
eric_ssucks's picture

There's dozens of us!

Wed, 04/25/2018 - 17:05
ckd
ckd's picture

Have you considered selling pine tar soap and artisan hatchets?

Spencer Raleigh, Medical Panini

Wed, 04/25/2018 - 17:09
crowding
crowding's picture
(Reply to #8)

kmcdon wrote:
Low-trail conversion forks that come in 1" threadless and have disc mounts

fixed just to be clear

Wed, 04/25/2018 - 17:46
kmcdon
kmcdon's picture
(Reply to #9)

crowding wrote:
kmcdon wrote:
Low-trail conversion forks that come in 1" threadless and have disc mounts

fixed just to be clear

Yes that, that would be very nice.

Wed, 04/25/2018 - 17:48
Davidk
Davidk's picture
(Reply to #10)

kmcdon wrote:
crowding wrote:
kmcdon wrote:
Low-trail conversion forks that come in 1" threadless and have disc mounts

fixed just to be clear

There are at least 3 of us!

Yes that, that would be very nice.

Wed, 04/25/2018 - 17:50
cheese
cheese's picture
(Reply to #11)

ckd wrote:
Have you considered selling gift certificates for pine tar soap and artisan hatchets?

Wed, 04/25/2018 - 17:52
emor
emor's picture
(Reply to #12)

ckd wrote:
Have you considered selling pine tar soap and artisan hatchets?

don't forget thumb gloves and trangia o-rings

"my main life goal is to have a dirtbag camper van with a bunch of bikes on it, go camping every vacation forever" -- me

Wed, 04/25/2018 - 18:27
b-roll
b-roll's picture

"Long story short: I'm stupid, but stupid like a fox."

Wed, 04/25/2018 - 18:40
turpencat
turpencat's picture

why the shit would we expect velo orange to make anything that is up to tarck® standards?

johnnyraja wrote:
If you've never done it then yes, it's very surprising.

Wed, 04/25/2018 - 20:40
Tail Hook Lengthener
Tail Hook Lengthener's picture
(Reply to #15)

Mr. Pubes wrote:
i shouldnt have to brush my teeth any more. there should be a pill. its 2018 ffs.

I was riding up a steep hill today and I sucked in real hard, and my saliva tasted like halitosis and I was like "how has science not yet fixed this?"

Sneaky Viking wrote:
when you look back at your life sometimes you see a set of hands on your keyboard and a set of paws, but sometimes there's only a set of paws and that's when Tarckbear was typing for you.

Wed, 04/25/2018 - 20:57
EddBread
EddBread's picture

A porteur front rack that won't break but mounts to mid-fork, crown and brake hole.

Outside is $,$$$

Wed, 04/25/2018 - 22:32
yonderboy
yonderboy's picture

How about a toaster that can brown my toast to a perfect Pantone 160?

Wed, 04/25/2018 - 22:54
Endpoint
Endpoint's picture

Can we just get someone from Surly on here instead so we can “help” them come up with more names for colorways?

Wed, 04/25/2018 - 23:26
jeffro
jeffro's picture

Combining the best traits of VO, Surly, and tarck could really be...something.

Wed, 04/25/2018 - 23:28
Endpoint
Endpoint's picture

I’m really just crossing my fingers for a “butttrouble brown” Troll revamp. Maybe the VO contribution could be a threaded fork. 1-1/4, of course.

Wed, 04/25/2018 - 23:31
halbritt
halbritt's picture
(Reply to #21)

turpencat wrote:
why the shit would we expect velo orange to make anything that is up to tarck® standards?

Velo Orange makes things? I thought they were just picking shit out of manufacturers' catalogs?

...shift like jesus making one set of footprints in the sand in your time of need

Wed, 04/25/2018 - 23:44
joy of vaping
joy of vaping's picture
(Reply to #22)

yonderboy wrote:
How about a toaster that can brown my toast to a perfect Pantone 160?

here it is:
http://www.automaticbeyondbelief.org/

Thu, 04/26/2018 - 00:12
wesbarf
wesbarf's picture

How about a reasonably priced decaleur in the Ocean Air Cycles style that works with ortlieb hardware?

Thu, 04/26/2018 - 00:51
kmcdon
kmcdon's picture
(Reply to #24)

Endpoint wrote:
Can we just get someone from Surly on here instead so we can “help” them come up with more names for colorways?

I'm doing a bikepacking trip with surly folk this autumn, tell me your wants and I'll relay them.

Spoiler alert: they'll be drunk and none of the ideas will make it through, but everyone I've met is pretty rad and enjoyable.

Thu, 04/26/2018 - 01:02
NOVELTYNAME
NOVELTYNAME's picture

I had a whole stretch of them
I can’t remember but stretchmark pink is pretty ok

"Folks want options!"

Thu, 04/26/2018 - 01:09
EddBread
EddBread's picture

Nitto x tarck

Bring 1,100,615.00 ¥ to Saitama

Outside is $,$$$

Thu, 04/26/2018 - 02:34
JUGE FREDD
JUGE FREDD's picture
(Reply to #27)

NOVELTYNAME wrote:
I can’t remember but stretchmark pink is pretty ok

this thread is thirsty

but holy shit you nailed that Surly colorway

It's a struggle, but you cut out his tongue, and his last words are "atmo atmo Atmo ATMO ATMOOOOOGORIHGGHRSHGGRLMGGMMGMgrrglegurglegrr....."
– akasnowmaaan

Thu, 04/26/2018 - 03:40
emor
emor's picture

i volunteer to be the "fat guy underbiking" test rider for new frame designs

"my main life goal is to have a dirtbag camper van with a bunch of bikes on it, go camping every vacation forever" -- me

Thu, 04/26/2018 - 08:23
igor
(Reply to #29)

Dang I go to sleep and this happens.

asterisk wrote:
650B fenders in 60mm width that have a lip on both sides and the same arc/coverage as the smaller sizes. There are tens of us who may buy these (although it's probably higher than a year ago?)

650b x 58mm Wavy fenders are in production. Should be here within a month.

pubesy wrote:
i shouldnt have to brush my teeth any more. there should be a pill. its 2018 ffs.

Remove all teeth. No need to brush.

kmcdon wrote:
Low-trail conversion forks that don't suck and have disc mounts.

and internal dyno routing.

1" low trail disc threadless with dynamo routing. What bike? It would be a mullet of disc and rim.

ckd wrote:
Have you considered selling pine tar soap and artisan hatchets?

Actually the olive oil soap is surprisingly popular when we can get it. I don't have anything to hatchet and I don't wear flannel.

turpencat wrote:
why the shit would we expect velo orange to make anything that is up to tarck® standards?

Cause y'all picky.

Eddbread wrote:
A porteur front rack that won't break but mounts to mid-fork, crown and brake hole.

Use our rack and the Surly Rack Adaptor hardware. It works really well.

yonderboy wrote:
How about a toaster that can brown my toast to a perfect Pantone 160?

I got out of the toaster game after...the accident. Although Oster is pretty good.

Endpoint wrote:
Can we just get someone from Surly on here instead so we can “help” them come up with more names for colorways?

They're paint name game is strong.

halbritt wrote:
Velo Orange makes things? I thought they were just picking shit out of manufacturers' catalogs?

Most of our stuff is custom to us. But I don't think there's anything wrong with saying, "oh damn, someone already makes exactly what we wanted to design."

wesbarf wrote:
How about a reasonably priced decaleur in the Ocean Air Cycles style that works with ortlieb hardware?

We're working on a better decaleur. Takes time.

emor wrote:
i volunteer to be the "fat guy underbiking" test rider for new frame designs

You're at the top of the list.

ye olde fronche cranks

Thu, 04/26/2018 - 11:20
ckd
ckd's picture

I like you Igor.

Spencer Raleigh, Medical Panini

Thu, 04/26/2018 - 11:56
Blakey
Blakey's picture
(Reply to #31)

joy of vaping wrote:
yonderboy wrote:
How about a toaster that can brown my toast to a perfect Pantone 160?

here it is:
http://www.automaticbeyondbelief.org/

I have this. World's best toaster.

Thu, 04/26/2018 - 12:08
Todd
Todd's picture

4mm leather washers
cork spacers
real mudflaps

Thu, 04/26/2018 - 12:16
ckd
ckd's picture

Cork headset spacers
Press fit bottom brackets that are just Teflon bushings and no bearings
26” monstercross tires
Wiha hair trimmers
Vintage woolen football jerseys

Spencer Raleigh, Medical Panini

Thu, 04/26/2018 - 13:16
NOVELTYNAME
NOVELTYNAME's picture
(Reply to #34)

igor wrote:

kmcdon wrote:
Low-trail conversion forks that don't suck and have disc mounts and internal dyno routing.

1" low trail disc threadless with dynamo routing. What bike? It would be a mullet of disc and rim.

this is for 90s mtb foppery ala ultaro but with a lower cost of entry atmo

"Folks want options!"

Thu, 04/26/2018 - 14:09
kmcdon
kmcdon's picture
(Reply to #35)

NOVELTYNAME wrote:
igor wrote:

kmcdon wrote:
Low-trail conversion forks that don't suck and have disc mounts and internal dyno routing.

1" low trail disc threadless with dynamo routing. What bike? It would be a mullet of disc and rim.

this is for 90s mtb foppery ala ultaro but with a lower cost of entry atmo

Yeah basically this. I'd put one on my Alpina Uno in a second. Not concerned with it being a mullet, because the rear brakes hardly matter.

I want that disc brake - porteur rack - lowtrailbro life.

Basically this:

but with a 1" threadless hunter/gatherer fork.

Thu, 04/26/2018 - 14:16
bward1028

Yeah, that;s the fork i want for our tandem too.

Thu, 04/26/2018 - 14:41
crowding
crowding's picture

vintage MTB -> sw8 basketbike is one good use case for a 1" lowtrail jobber

whippy '80s Trek roadbike -> front loading rando chariot is another

Thu, 04/26/2018 - 16:00
turpencat
turpencat's picture
(Reply to #38)

ckd wrote:
Cork headset spacers
Press fit bottom brackets that are just Teflon bushings and no bearings
26” monstercross tires
Wiha hair trimmers
Vintage woolen football jerseys

this is all fucking evil.

johnnyraja wrote:
If you've never done it then yes, it's very surprising.

Thu, 04/26/2018 - 16:09
eric_ssucks
eric_ssucks's picture
(Reply to #39)

turpencat wrote:
ckd wrote:
Cork headset spacers
Press fit bottom brackets that are just Teflon bushings and no bearings
26” monstercross tires
Wiha hair trimmers
Vintage woolen football jerseys

this is all fucking evil.

So good.

Thu, 04/26/2018 - 16:21
Recumbentist
Recumbentist's picture
(Reply to #40)

ckd wrote:
I like you Igor.

I want to like him too, but he's selling bikes with cantis

Thu, 04/26/2018 - 19:22
drwelby
drwelby's picture

3 of their 4 frames are disc

Naturally, this bike is partially tarck's fault.

Thu, 04/26/2018 - 19:25
Andrew_Squirrel
Andrew_Squirrel's picture

lol

Thu, 04/26/2018 - 19:27
NOVELTYNAME
NOVELTYNAME's picture

Howard dean only screamed wooooaaaaahhbbgggg once but still

"Folks want options!"

Thu, 04/26/2018 - 19:30
Andrew_Squirrel
Andrew_Squirrel's picture
(Reply to #44)

drwelby wrote:
3 of their 4 frames are disc

I just realized the internet invested a huge stack of $10 gift certificates in the wrong retrogrouch company.

Thu, 04/26/2018 - 19:34
ckd
ckd's picture
(Reply to #45)

ckd wrote:
Cork headset spacers
Press fit bottom brackets that are just Teflon bushings and no bearings
26” monstercross tires
Wiha hair trimmers
Vintage woolen football jerseys

Japanese rice paper bar wrap
Light mounts that are made out of upcycled creosote-treated timbers from decommissioned rail lines.
Adapter kits that allow you to run tubes in tubeless tires
5 pound tins of lard
Horsehair fine tooth derailleur pulley brushes
Oil filters for e-bikes

Spencer Raleigh, Medical Panini

Thu, 04/26/2018 - 19:51
Gary Fissure

what about your long reach brakes in extra-longway?

honestly everybody makes everything pretty good now. or I just don't ride bikes. whatever.

Thu, 04/26/2018 - 20:31
halbritt
halbritt's picture

I've hated VO since they go rid of my friend Tom.

That said, Tom was a bit of a fuck off. He never really understood Tarck, either. Was kind of afraid of it. Maybe Igor is better.

...shift like jesus making one set of footprints in the sand in your time of need

Thu, 04/26/2018 - 22:13
Rusty Piton
Rusty Piton's picture
(Reply to #48)

Andrew_Squirrel wrote:
drwelby wrote:
3 of their 4 frames are disc

I just realized the internet invested a huge stack of $10 gift certificates in the wrong retrogrouch company.

Mine didn’t even work smiley

emor wrote:
Bicycle commuting is the worst way to get anywhere except for all the other ways.

Thu, 04/26/2018 - 22:42
bward1028
(Reply to #49)

Rusty Piton wrote:
Andrew_Squirrel wrote:
drwelby wrote:
3 of their 4 frames are disc

I just realized the internet invested a huge stack of $10 gift certificates in the wrong retrogrouch company.

Mine didn’t even work smiley

did you remember to print it out and mail it in??

Thu, 04/26/2018 - 23:00
Tail Hook Lengthener
Tail Hook Lengthener's picture
(Reply to #50)

Andrew_Squirrel wrote:
drwelby wrote:
3 of their 4 frames are disc

I just realized the internet invested a huge stack of $10 gift certificates in the wrong retrogrouch company.

Well one retrogrouch company didn't need stacks of $10 bills because they actually make products customers want, sell them for a fraction of their competitor, and get those products into channels of distribution outside of one website.

Sneaky Viking wrote:
when you look back at your life sometimes you see a set of hands on your keyboard and a set of paws, but sometimes there's only a set of paws and that's when Tarckbear was typing for you.

Fri, 04/27/2018 - 00:01

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