Totally absurd bike plans that you've thought about doing but will never do: FOREVER edition

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ckd
ckd's picture
Totally absurd bike plans that you've thought about doing but will never do: FOREVER edition

Build a 27.5+ front wheel for my new Fargo to make it shralpier out in the woods.

SRAM soggy brakes for the Fargo even though I'm totally content with the mechanicals that are currently on there.

Disc tabs and a new wheelset on my sweet old lugged Trek rando what-have-you that I never ride.

Better wheelset with better tires for the Burley.

Sell the Fargo and build a Jones diamond frame / truss fork collabo with aforementioned 27.5+ / 29" wheelset.

Tue, 03/21/2017 - 23:38
Tail Hook Lengthener
Tail Hook Lengthener's picture

ckd wrote:
Disc tabs and a new wheelset on my sweet old lugged Trek rando what-have-you that I never ride.

Sneaky Viking wrote:
when you look back at your life sometimes you see a set of hands on your keyboard and a set of paws, but sometimes there's only a set of paws and that's when Tarckbear was typing for you.

Tue, 03/21/2017 - 23:39
lukasz
lukasz's picture

Shave some thunder burts.

Tue, 03/21/2017 - 23:51
plop
plop's picture

Brake post repositioning for 650b, and dynamo related accomodations added to the Miyata 1000 frame I have sitting around.

Tue, 03/21/2017 - 23:56
ShartAttack
ShartAttack's picture

Ride more

Sell my Black Mountain to get a Hunter/Gatherer type bike

Former RAGBRAI enthusiast

Tue, 03/21/2017 - 23:58
Goddamnit Gunther
Goddamnit Gunther's picture
(Reply to #5)

ShartAttack wrote:
Ride more

Dyno and 2x10 the Scott

Derper post the penis wrinkle pink SS MTB

Rebuild Klein

Hope someone here will sell me their Clydesdale fork to build the neon Marin into a kid/bowling ball hauling super truck

Endpoint wrote:
turdly buttways

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 00:15
mander
mander's picture

Make my wife let me buy a ditherer or cg

When you think about all those rim replacements those wet dicks practically pay for themselves!

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 00:17
Larry Winget
Larry Winget's picture

Sell the red Davidson.

The Pitbull of Personal Development®

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 00:18
Goddamnit Gunther
Goddamnit Gunther's picture

mander wrote:
Make my wife

ckd wrote:
Totally absurd.

Endpoint wrote:
turdly buttways

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 00:22
NOVELTYNAME
NOVELTYNAME's picture

Get a 3rd new frame this year

"Folks want options!"

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 01:08
kmcdon
kmcdon's picture

get ladybiek to buybuild a ditherer, or even a mountain bike

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 01:10
joy of vaping
joy of vaping's picture

get low-trail dick fork + rack made for my gitane and make it a 650b trackdonneur

clydesdale fork on friend's tall bike

take mushrooms and ride the C+O on tandems

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 01:11
mander
mander's picture

Take small dose of lsd and ride through on a 600

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 01:17
k_phombear
k_phombear's picture

Braze a disc tab on a 1" fork

Get a custom rack

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 01:20
k_phombear
k_phombear's picture

Sell frames that aren't built

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 01:21
eric_ssucks
eric_ssucks's picture
(Reply to #15)

k_phombear wrote:
Sell frames that aren't built

Ride my bike enough to count as "training".

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 01:37
heavymetal
heavymetal's picture

Do a 200.

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 06:09
Petr5
Petr5's picture

Start commuting to work (home). Guarantees I get at least a little ride.

edit: wait, that's a totally absurd bike plan I actually did do.

Sneaky Viking wrote:
"Your bike sucks and we have a team of biased experts to pseudo-scientifically test that hypothesis, all in blue shirts."

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 06:48
Gary Fissure

Put Shimano wet brakes on the Crux

Buy a sweet frame and move my 27.5+ stuff onto it

Get a dropper for the Stumpy

mander wrote:
And what if the part is, like, just a nut? *huge bong rip*

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 07:32
johnasavoia
johnasavoia's picture

Only buy consumables from now until winter.
Ride more.

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 07:46
Rusty Piton
Rusty Piton's picture

Rebuild my Shawver with all the 11 speed stuff I have laying around.
All I need are spokes, jeeze!

emor wrote:
Bicycle commuting is the worst way to get anywhere except for all the other ways.

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 10:02
mdilthey
mdilthey's picture

Geared Pugsley

26/M/41t N/W

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 10:09
Whippin Skidz
Whippin Skidz's picture
(Reply to #22)

mander wrote:
Take small dose of lsd and ride through on a 600

Fantasy me likes this idea.

johnasavoia wrote:
Only buy consumables from now until winter.
Ride more.

Reality me knows this should be the case.

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 10:17
euclid
euclid's picture
(Reply to #23)

DumbJim wrote:
mander wrote:
Take small dose of lsd and ride through on a 600

Fantasy me likes this idea.

johnasavoia wrote:
Only buy consumables from now until winter.
Ride more.

Reality me knows this should be the case.

These are 100% compatible.

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 10:36
imoscardotcom
imoscardotcom's picture

Totally absurd bike plans that I've thought about doing but actually did in the wee hours of the morning: 2017 edition.

told myself to only buy consumables, immediately purchase h/g and co-motion frameset. god damnit I have no self control.

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 10:37
lukasz
lukasz's picture
(Reply to #25)

joy of tarcking wrote:
take mushrooms and ride the C+O on tandems

This sounds like a fantastic idea. All I need is a tandem. Can you rent those?

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 10:52
Gary Fissure
(Reply to #26)

imoscardotcom wrote:
Totally absurd bike plans that I've thought about doing but actually did in the wee hours of the morning: 2017 edition.

told myself to only buy consumables, immediately purchase h/g and co-motion frameset. god damnit I have no self control.

Trevor, stop buying the same road bike over and over.

mander wrote:
And what if the part is, like, just a nut? *huge bong rip*

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 11:16
jimmythefly
jimmythefly's picture

1) Sell parts, frames, wheels, half finished project bikes.

2) Use funds to purchase torch setup.

3) Build cargo bike for babby hauling.

deadforkinglast wrote:
But honestly, I have no idea how I am going to follow through on that plan and I already have a pretty rad bike. I think I just like fucking with my bikes.

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 11:40
kmcdon
kmcdon's picture
(Reply to #28)

mdilthey wrote:
Geared Pugsley

hahahahahah did we finally break you?

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 11:46
imoscardotcom
imoscardotcom's picture
(Reply to #29)

Sneaky Viking wrote:
imoscardotcom wrote:
Totally absurd bike plans that I've thought about doing but actually did in the wee hours of the morning: 2017 edition.

told myself to only buy consumables, immediately purchase h/g and co-motion frameset. god damnit I have no self control.

Trevor, stop buying the same road bike over and over.

dude, I know

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 11:48
ShartAttack
ShartAttack's picture

Hey Trevor do you want to buy my Black Mountain lol

Former RAGBRAI enthusiast

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 12:05
guccipolo

1) sell gunnar ruffian
2) flat bar single speed the cross check for city shredz/occasional caviar shifts
3) convince myself its okay to take the weekend off to camp/ride every once in a while
4) full squish
5) get the wheelie kids riding mountain bikes on trails

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 12:45
jdsmooth
jdsmooth's picture

2017 goal: acquire no more bikes.
Possibly stash a one them somewhere, tricking myself into thinking I have 5 or 6.

Five-foot drops at speed on unstable terrain? Yep.

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 12:47
ShinyTravisto
ShinyTravisto's picture

^ this.

Do a few more bike events, realized from my last gravel grinder I miss the bike community outside of just bike shop life.

Need to get my mtb back up and running, if not then I should get rid of it.

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 13:08
iwillbe
iwillbe's picture
(Reply to #34)

guccipolo wrote:
5) get the wheelie kids riding mountain bikes on trails

This is a legitimately awesome thing to try for.

For me, 2017 is totally definitely the year that I swap my Xtracycle for a longjohn cargo bike, get an mtb, rebuild my fixed gear, commission another road bike, overhaul my Saila with lots of gaudy color-matched parts, and replace my Crosscheck with a more fun road/dirt bike.

I'm also definitely going to make my own bags for these bikes, get my kid into regularly riding her pedal bike, do some longer organized rides this summer, race cx more seriously this fall, and take a month off the bike to trail run once it starts snowing.

Without question I'm going to finally go through all my old cycling apparel and parts bins and put everything up on ebay and use the money to pay for something responsible and grownup like dental visits or whatnot.

Oh yes, a most busy year indeed.

All music is just the Eagles with different geometry.

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 13:21
Andrew_Squirrel
Andrew_Squirrel's picture
(Reply to #35)

jimmythefly wrote:
1) Sell parts, frames, wheels, half finished project bikes.

2) Use funds to purchase torch setup.

3) Build cargo bike for babby hauling.

Please blog this process! Will subscribe

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 13:31
Todd
Todd's picture

Buy hunter dither (not absurd, probably will happen)
Get 11s wet dicks group for CG and put the 10s dry dicks on H/G (also could totally happen)
Build sub 1300g wheelset for CG to put 28cc tires on and feel faster. (could maybe happen if I put my current 700c wheels on the H/G... if I can even do that)
Dont break my mountain bikes.
Decide if I need/want to sell my FS MTB (Size small Anthem SX from 2015 if anyone wants to make that choice easier)
Sell cross check for enough to buy bags and lights for H/G

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 13:50
Viggen
Viggen's picture

Alright..

1: sell Yeti Cx since I no longer race cx or ride it around the mountains here, not the type of bike I need taking up space. Will probably regret this some time since LMTD EDTN™ and all that jazz, but whatever.
2: 650B'ify the Godspeed, have My Framebuilder weld dick mounts to it, rebuild wheels, get sw8 supple tyres and put cable dicks (since campy) on that awesome bike.
3: Buy tubs for the Viner Pista and do some sw8 fixie'ing this summer.
4: ride the Monark 93280 from 1958 during Ronde van Retaard 2017 and then hang the frame on my wall waiting on some L'Eroica-lust to ride it in Italy.
5: Clear out all spare parts and sell/give away since I no longer have space for basically anything or even the bikes I want to keep..
6: Don't buy any more bikes jut do maintenance...

Whippin Skidz wrote:
This is tarck, there is a complicated solution to everything and we will endlessly discuss until an agreed upon solution has been tabled. This is out of your hands now.

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 15:12
mdilthey
mdilthey's picture
(Reply to #38)

kmcdon wrote:
mdilthey wrote:
Geared Pugsley

hahahahahah did we finally break you?

I'm in this insane life-state where I want the Pugsley to be singlespeed AND 3x9 at the same time.

26/M/41t N/W

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 16:11
crowding
crowding's picture

build a frame and put hydro dicks + friction barcons on it
four lowtrail forks for the present stable
e-assist dropbar commuter if I get another eastside job

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 16:17
Andrew_Squirrel
Andrew_Squirrel's picture

- E-assist modification for the Cyclefab Cycletruck
- Update wheels on Trek 720 commuter and go tubeless
- Maybe paint Elephant NFE disc in outrageous fashion.

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 16:25
lukasz
lukasz's picture
(Reply to #41)

mdilthey wrote:
kmcdon wrote:
mdilthey wrote:
Geared Pugsley

hahahahahah did we finally break you?

I'm in this insane life-state where I want the Pugsley to be singlespeed AND 3x9 at the same time.

A 3x9 bike is 27 single speeds.

Food for thought.

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 16:34
kmcdon
kmcdon's picture

Just say no to 3x9.

My pugs is 2x10 and there's nothing it won't go up. Actually it's geared so low that sometimes I lose momentum and can't get started again.

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 16:56
Whippin Skidz
Whippin Skidz's picture
(Reply to #43)

kmcdon wrote:
Just say no to 3x9.

I finally ditched 9s in 2017. Backing this statement. 2x10 is a far better choice.

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 18:02
cheese
cheese's picture

I'd like to reverse engineer and rebuild a halfway decent handlebar rando bag that doesn't require a rack or decaleur. Just something that can hold a jacket and small camera with a clear top for a phone. Bonus points if it has an integrated cupholder koozie pocket.

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 18:55
johnasavoia
johnasavoia's picture
(Reply to #45)

cheese wrote:
I'd like to reverse engineer and rebuild a halfway decent handlebar rando bag that doesn't require a rack or decaleur. Just something that can hold a jacket and small camera with a clear top for a phone. Bonus points if it has an integrated cupholder koozie pocket.

http://www.jandd.com/detail.asp?PRODUCT_ID=FMBHP2 this thing and a feedbag or two. Seriously.

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 19:03
Andrew_Squirrel
Andrew_Squirrel's picture
(Reply to #46)

cheese wrote:
I'd like to reverse engineer and rebuild a halfway decent handlebar rando bag that doesn't require a rack or decaleur. Just something that can hold a jacket and small camera with a clear top for a phone. Bonus points if it has an integrated cupholder koozie pocket.

Building something like the Swift Paloma might be a good plan. Frees up the entire handlebar for hands and if you use the Klickfix Adapter it will be easy to put on and take off.
http://builtbyswift.com/shop/custom-paloma-handlebar-bag/

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 19:11
Patch
Patch's picture

Anything with a clickfix?

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 19:14
ckd
ckd's picture
(Reply to #48)

johnasavoia wrote:
cheese wrote:
I'd like to reverse engineer and rebuild a halfway decent handlebar rando bag that doesn't require a rack or decaleur. Just something that can hold a jacket and small camera with a clear top for a phone. Bonus points if it has an integrated cupholder koozie pocket.

http://www.jandd.com/detail.asp?PRODUCT_ID=FMBHP2 this thing and a feedbag or two. Seriously.

I have one of these (somewhere) and I can confirm that it's pretty nice.

Not the biggest thing in the world, but nice nonetheless.

Spencer Raleigh, Medical Panini

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 19:29
mdilthey
mdilthey's picture
(Reply to #49)

DumbJim wrote:
kmcdon wrote:
Just say no to 3x9.

I finally ditched 9s in 2017. Backing this statement. 2x10 is a far better choice.

I've given it a bit of thought. I want to go with 9S because I want to go with a friction shifter and a Paul Thumbie for touring simplicity, and because I just really like friction.

And the tripel-front is because if I'm gonna run gears, I kinda want a nerd crank. I kinda want a Surly Mr. Whirly so I can keep using the same Enduro bearing BB, which I have really come to love. And, it comes 22-32-44 which is pretty much exactly where I'd want to be anyways. And it comes in 100mm Pugsley style. And I like the look.

But all of this is irrelevant because I haven't got $250+ to burn. This is the "Never" thread, isn't it?

26/M/41t N/W

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 19:55
joy of vaping
joy of vaping's picture

mdilthey wrote:
Paul thumbie

smiley instead just pull any friction shifter from the parts bin at your local shop (1980s suntour power ratchet is the best)

mdilthey wrote:
nerd crank

trippls aren't nerd cranks

Wed, 03/22/2017 - 20:30

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