The New New Guy Thread. Your first post goes here. Seriously.

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deadforkinglast
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The New New Guy Thread. Your first post goes here. Seriously.

Because new guys continue to fuck up PYB. Post your combo-breaker here.

Thu, 06/19/2014 - 17:03
b-roll
b-roll's picture

jingle jingle....

seed change

"You know it's dumb. I know it's dumb. But fuck it, I still love it."

Thu, 06/19/2014 - 23:18
ShartAttack
ShartAttack's picture

Am I still a new guy?

Former RAGBRAI enthusiast

Thu, 06/19/2014 - 23:23
halbritt
halbritt's picture

I'd sticky this, but I don't know how.

...shift like jesus making one set of footprints in the sand in your time of need

Fri, 06/20/2014 - 01:40
Larry Winget
Larry Winget's picture

Lulz. I will send you a bill later.

The Pitbull of Personal Development®

Fri, 06/20/2014 - 01:42
halbritt
halbritt's picture

I'll have my accounting folks take a look at it.

...shift like jesus making one set of footprints in the sand in your time of need

Fri, 06/20/2014 - 02:09
Lowrey'sOrgan
Lowrey'sOrgan's picture

New new guy here. This is my bike on last weekend's camping trip. Will post proper pic for proper ridicule this evening.

Fri, 06/20/2014 - 11:36
jimmythefly
jimmythefly's picture

That looks reasonable in every way.

deadforkinglast wrote:
But honestly, I have no idea how I am going to follow through on that plan and I already have a pretty rad bike. I think I just like fucking with my bikes.

Fri, 06/20/2014 - 11:54
naterod
naterod's picture
(Reply to #8)

Hey new guy,

Here you go:

Lowrey'sOrgan wrote:
New new guy here. This is my bike on last weekend's camping trip. Will post proper pic for proper ridicule this evening.

Make sure you post this other "proper pic" properly next time.

And I ain't mad at that Trek

Fri, 06/20/2014 - 12:02
Orc
Orc's picture
(Reply to #9)

Is that an old military tool chest? Damn, you don't do half-measures on your camping trips.

Fri, 06/20/2014 - 12:20
cookietruck
cookietruck's picture

that chest better be full of
whisky fireworks hatchets and axes
and maybe a thing or two from the sex dungeon

Fri, 06/20/2014 - 14:43
euflavine
euflavine's picture

People gettin' all stressed comparing soft frame bags to rack and panniers, and this dude comes in with a fucking wooden crate.

Fri, 06/20/2014 - 14:54
emor
emor's picture

I lol'd when I saw that.

Gotta say, I would really hate using that to go bike camping. The whole setup weighs what, 30 pounds just by itself?

"my main life goal is to have a dirtbag camper van with a bunch of bikes on it, go camping every vacation forever" -- me

Fri, 06/20/2014 - 15:04
Orc
Orc's picture
(Reply to #13)

The tool chest weighs 30 pounds by itself.

Fri, 06/20/2014 - 15:18
NoahGenda
NoahGenda's picture

Hence being on the biggest back cog, next to a lake in Wisconsin

The best type of fit advice is internet fit advice.

Fri, 06/20/2014 - 15:31
Orc
Orc's picture
(Reply to #15)

The route from Madison to Devils Lake is not exactly what I'd call flat, and the climb out from the Wisconsin River gets kind of steep.

Fri, 06/20/2014 - 16:59
ShartAttack
ShartAttack's picture

On that note, I think it's worth noting that he's hauling that with a 1x set-up and no granny. I think I'd be walking anything over a 2% grade.

Former RAGBRAI enthusiast

Fri, 06/20/2014 - 16:01
halbritt
halbritt's picture

Unf.

...shift like jesus making one set of footprints in the sand in your time of need

Fri, 06/20/2014 - 16:52
Lowrey'sOrgan
Lowrey'sOrgan's picture

cookietruck wrote:
that chest better be full of
whisky fireworks hatchets and axes
and maybe a thing or two from the sex dungeon

Sex dungeon tents, food, and limoncello mostly. Whiskey and *ahem* firestarters were on other bikes. Forgot the hatchet at home.

emor wrote:
The whole setup weighs what, 30 pounds just by itself?

Yeah about 30 pounds for chest + trailer, 65 with gear and food, 80 with firewood. Needed the extra space for friends' stuff. They haven't been able to ride much this year, so NBD if the trailer slows me down a bit anyway.

ShartAttack wrote:
On that note, I think it's worth noting that he's hauling that with a 1x set-up and no granny. I think I'd be walking anything over a 2% grade.

42x32 ain't bad

road mode (no embedded link this time)

Fri, 06/20/2014 - 20:37
mander
mander's picture

A new guy that doesn't suck too bad gets a polite reception on tarck... What is the world coming to

Sat, 06/21/2014 - 02:52
fixed
fixed's picture

pink on a trek cx bike...new guy, are you ellen noble?

Sat, 06/21/2014 - 07:09
cookietruck
cookietruck's picture

this new guy seems pretty ok
plenty of saddle setback and long reach so the bars don't have to be hella low

what tires are those? they look large...

Sat, 06/21/2014 - 17:06
VT regularbike
VT regularbike's picture

32c Bontrager somethings

Miguel wrote:
i mean as long as we're spending money, lets just set the wallet on fire ok

Sat, 06/21/2014 - 20:04
aerobear
aerobear's picture

new guy reminds me of my friend brian

onetime he went bike camping and took so much shit i couldn't believe it

also he has that bike:

surprisingly without any pink on it.

crowding wrote:
Every time i eat Dick's I just wind up disappointed that I'm not getting In-n-Out.

Sat, 06/21/2014 - 21:36
emor
emor's picture

Holy shit, that is some serious bike camping.

"my main life goal is to have a dirtbag camper van with a bunch of bikes on it, go camping every vacation forever" -- me

Sat, 06/21/2014 - 22:02
NOVELTYNAME
NOVELTYNAME's picture
(Reply to #25)

emor wrote:
Holy shit, that is some serious bike camping.

"Folks want options!"

Sat, 06/21/2014 - 22:32
aerobear
aerobear's picture
(Reply to #26)

Miguel wrote:
emor wrote:
Holy shit, that is some serious bike camping.

he had to have a high dose of radiation so he needed to be quarantined for a few days

crowding wrote:
Every time i eat Dick's I just wind up disappointed that I'm not getting In-n-Out.

Sun, 06/22/2014 - 02:00
ergott
ergott's picture

27 post and only one new guy. This thread sucks.

New guy, eat your dicks.

Let's get this back on track. Otherwise it's the beginning of the end.

If someone on here did it, I'd probably like it. Since it was done by someone I don't know, they're a fucking idiot.

Sun, 06/22/2014 - 09:58
halbritt
halbritt's picture
(Reply to #28)

ergott wrote:
New guy, eat your dicks.

Can we figure out another way to haze new people?

...shift like jesus making one set of footprints in the sand in your time of need

Sun, 06/22/2014 - 10:23
ergott
ergott's picture

Sure thing. But the concept is sound.

If someone on here did it, I'd probably like it. Since it was done by someone I don't know, they're a fucking idiot.

Sun, 06/22/2014 - 10:25
Sneaky Viking
Sneaky Viking's picture

Get another chainring and eat a jar of mayonnaise, new guy.

ckd wrote:
I mean, seriously. We're just a bunch of washed up bicycle burnout dipshits.

Sun, 06/22/2014 - 10:26
halbritt
halbritt's picture

I love mayonnaise. Made some the other day with jalapeno infused olive oil and it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

...shift like jesus making one set of footprints in the sand in your time of need

Sun, 06/22/2014 - 10:29
Sneaky Viking
Sneaky Viking's picture

Heath I am talking about store bought, non-artisanal mayonnaise that the new guy should have to eat.

^this should be all caps, but stupid iPad.

ckd wrote:
I mean, seriously. We're just a bunch of washed up bicycle burnout dipshits.

Sun, 06/22/2014 - 12:14
johnasavoia
johnasavoia's picture

New hazing should involve forced garbage miles before they're allowed in other threads.

Sun, 06/22/2014 - 12:26
ergott
ergott's picture
(Reply to #34)

johnasavoia wrote:
New hazing should involve forced garbage miles on one of DaFROG's bikes before they're allowed in other threads.

FTFY

If someone on here did it, I'd probably like it. Since it was done by someone I don't know, they're a fucking idiot.

Sun, 06/22/2014 - 12:33
Endpoint
Endpoint's picture

Those fucking white brake hoods. that cockpit takes a somewhat palatable cross bike fully into jackass territory. and you pack for camping like a wealthy aging housewife.

eat shit new guy, eat shit.

Sun, 06/22/2014 - 13:58
jimmythefly
jimmythefly's picture

New guy is like some weird combo breaker. Nothing wrong with bikes, posts scratch-built front hub in appropriate thread, seems to know about bikes and know how to assemble them tastefully.

I'll reserve harassment for those who deserve it. This guy's not worth nor deserving of the energy, I'd rather he get that hub laced up so we can see if it asplodes or not.

deadforkinglast wrote:
But honestly, I have no idea how I am going to follow through on that plan and I already have a pretty rad bike. I think I just like fucking with my bikes.

Sun, 06/22/2014 - 13:58
NOVELTYNAME
NOVELTYNAME's picture

Yeah def
If the hub explodes all is good but if it's successful and his new business pops up he can eat some hot breaded deep fried poop.

"Folks want options!"

Sun, 06/22/2014 - 15:32
halbritt
halbritt's picture

facepalm.gif

...shift like jesus making one set of footprints in the sand in your time of need

Sun, 06/22/2014 - 18:35
imoscardotcom
imoscardotcom's picture

what is going on in here

Sun, 06/22/2014 - 18:41
eric_ssucks
eric_ssucks's picture

Some people want to haze, most people think hazing is dumb.

Sun, 06/22/2014 - 20:23
timberland boots
timberland boots's picture
(Reply to #41)

eric_s wrote:
Most people want to haze, some people think hazing is dumb.

FTFY

There have been dozens of people who never made it through the hazing process without calling someone a faggot (or sometimes 'faget' funny enough), said something racist or just generally acted like shitheads and washed out and stopped posting here. It's been pretty effective at weeding out a lot of bad posters.

So, nuh uh.

Also, white brake hoods can be pretty awesome on some bikes just because of how often they don't look good. It's like even more special when someone pulls it off and nails a good looking bike with white hoods. New guy should be praised for his brake hoods, if there weren't so many fuck ugly cockpit setups out there we wouldn't get so genuinely excited when someone actually does it well.

Anal Beads Al-Qaeda Ball Gag NAMBLA

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 09:23
Endpoint
Endpoint's picture
(Reply to #42)

Mr. Grumps wrote:
There have been dozens of people who never made it through the hazing process without calling someone a faggot (or sometimes 'faget' funny enough), said something racist or just generally acted like shitheads and washed out and stopped posting here. It's been pretty effective at weeding out a lot of bad posters.

Yeah.

Mr. Grumps wrote:
Also, white brake hoods can be pretty awesome on some bikes

Nah.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 11:06
Recumbentist
Recumbentist's picture
(Reply to #43)

Mr. Grumps wrote:
eric_s wrote:
Most people want to haze, some people think hazing is dumb.

FTFY

There have been dozens of people who never made it through the hazing process without calling someone a faggot (or sometimes 'faget' funny enough), said something racist or just generally acted like shitheads and washed out and stopped posting here. It's been pretty effective at weeding out a lot of bad posters.

So, nuh uh.

Yes (although I was never properly hazed).

Tue, 06/24/2014 - 00:06
cheese
cheese's picture
(Reply to #44)

Mr. Grumps wrote:
There have been dozens of people who never made it through the hazing process without calling someone a faggot (or sometimes 'faget' funny enough), said something racist or just generally acted like shitheads and washed out and stopped posting here. It's been pretty effective at weeding out a lot of bad posters.

TC I thought this was the reason the JOD existed in the first place.

Tue, 06/24/2014 - 01:32
cookietruck
cookietruck's picture
(Reply to #45)

Ferg wrote:
Mr. Grumps wrote:
eric_s wrote:
Most people want to haze, some people think hazing is dumb.

FTFY

There have been dozens of people who never made it through the hazing process without calling someone a faggot (or sometimes 'faget' funny enough), said something racist or just generally acted like shitheads and washed out and stopped posting here. It's been pretty effective at weeding out a lot of bad posters.

So, nuh uh.

Yes (although I was never properly hazed).

pretty sure you were
didn't you get mad at us for posting a pic of yr ladyfriend when we started posting all yr crazy audio gear from yr flickr???

Tue, 06/24/2014 - 10:16
timberland boots
timberland boots's picture

To support the argument that hazing works, I present Exhibit A, "Tarckbike.com = worst forum ever"

Anal Beads Al-Qaeda Ball Gag NAMBLA

Tue, 06/24/2014 - 10:02
imoscardotcom
imoscardotcom's picture

^ lol, re-read that BF thread the other day

Tue, 06/24/2014 - 10:22
halbritt
halbritt's picture
(Reply to #48)

Mr. Grumps wrote:
said something racist... Also, white brake hoods can be pretty awesome...

...shift like jesus making one set of footprints in the sand in your time of need

Tue, 06/24/2014 - 10:28
Recumbentist
Recumbentist's picture
(Reply to #49)

cookietruck wrote:
Ferg wrote:
Mr. Grumps wrote:
eric_s wrote:
Most people want to haze, some people think hazing is dumb.

FTFY

There have been dozens of people who never made it through the hazing process without calling someone a faggot (or sometimes 'faget' funny enough), said something racist or just generally acted like shitheads and washed out and stopped posting here. It's been pretty effective at weeding out a lot of bad posters.

So, nuh uh.

Yes (although I was never properly hazed).

pretty sure you were
didn't you get mad at us for posting a pic of yr ladyfriend when we started posting all yr crazy audio gear from yr flickr???

Oh yeah forgot about that. But more importantly nobody ever criticized my JA bikes.

Tue, 06/24/2014 - 10:41
tjayk
tjayk's picture

Sorry guys, I told Trek about this forum in the hopes that something useful (ie. front end loaded geo) would get beamed to the mothership.

Tue, 06/24/2014 - 11:36

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