A Fistful Of Post ATMO

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Patch
Patch's picture
Wed, 04/23/2014 - 13:49
Petr5
Petr5's picture

Sneaky Viking wrote:
"Your spencer sucks and we have a team of biased experts to pseudo-scientifically test that hypothesis, all in blue shirts."

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 13:41
TimArchyLime
TimArchyLime's picture

I love that at some point there must have been a conversation like
Father: I'm posting it on craigslist. What kind of spencer did you say it was?
Son: A fixie
Father: No, I mean, like a racing spencer or a mountain spencer?
Son: Ugh, dad, it's just a fixie. Everyone knows what a fixie is.
Father: Ok. Fine. What made it distinguishable?
Son: The rear tire was really special. It is called a gatorskin and they make them just for skidding on fixies.

Snarky Varking wrote:
Tarckbike- Where mile 11 means you're on a long ride.

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 17:12
randsome beast
randsome beast's picture

The frame is one thing but the trailer is what kills me.

emor wrote:
RANDO LIFE IS LIFE ON THE EDGE

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 01:46
dorth
dorth's picture

Fri, 05/02/2014 - 21:49
Larry Winget
Larry Winget's picture
(Reply to #256)

rando wrote:
The frame is one thing but the trailer is what kills me.

Needs Gates drive.

The Pitbull of Personal Development®

Fri, 05/02/2014 - 21:50
Bahamontes
Bahamontes's picture

Well. Played. Seth.

Fri, 05/02/2014 - 21:57
Blakey
Blakey's picture

actual lol

also

Sat, 05/03/2014 - 00:47
Larry Winget
Larry Winget's picture

#bikenerddadjokes

The Pitbull of Personal Development®

Sat, 05/03/2014 - 00:50
naterod
naterod's picture

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 17:24
randsome beast
randsome beast's picture

Walk into spencer shop with cat6 cool on my heels and set down my hamlet with gloves before noticing the lady kattycorner from me is breastfeeding both her kids at once while the guy on my other side is chin in hand watching. Kept a straight face most of the way back to wash my hands. Dispatched cat6 before noticing mom and kids vacated. Early 40's woman has moved into my spot and placed her items on top of mine with clear purpose. Smiled and snatched my stuff up without a word, clearly a good move in her book.

While moving away from creeper and not-a-milf I notice breastfeeders keys laying on the floor. Took them out to her and walked back in without noticing she followed me in. Get back to my stuff and she asks if I saw her phone while leaning over to give me a fuller view than my first glance at her swollen mammaries. This is getting to be too much and once again I flee with my belongings only to hear a phone start ringing under my ass a minute later. Pulled it out of the chair and swapped it for my espresso. One gulped it and got the fuck outta there.

Get me into not being a magnet for this type of shit. I'll make my own friends and alienate them if this can be reversed to desirable circumstances.

emor wrote:
RANDO LIFE IS LIFE ON THE EDGE

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 20:19
jimmythefly
jimmythefly's picture

Wait. have I seen this move before? Wes Anderson?

deadforkinglast wrote:
But honestly, I have no idea how I am going to follow through on that plan and I already have a pretty rad spencer. I think I just like fucking with my bikes.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 19:45
eric_ssucks
eric_ssucks's picture

Methinks thou dost protest too much. Seems like a reasonably normal day in the breeder hood.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 21:13
Sneaky Viking
Sneaky Viking's picture

obviously you are trying to send out a 'leave me the fuck alone' vibe but response is mostly: ha ha haha ha.
stop trying so hard.
if you were like 'hey can I help you with your titties?' no one would go near you.

ckd wrote:
I mean, seriously. We're just a bunch of washed up bicycle burnout dipshits.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 23:20
halbritt
halbritt's picture
(Reply to #265)

Sneaky Viking wrote:
if you were like 'hey can I help you with your titties?' no one would go near you.

Truth.

...shift like jesus making one set of footprints in the sand in your time of need

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 00:14
tjayk
tjayk's picture
(Reply to #266)

Sneaky Viking wrote:
if you were like 'hey can I help you with your titties?' no one would go near you.

actual lol

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 00:20
cheese
cheese's picture

Especially if you couple it with some heavy breathing.

TC I picture chin-in-hand guy as Willy Wonka:

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 00:57
randsome beast
randsome beast's picture
(Reply to #268)

eric_s wrote:
Methinks thou dost protest too much. Seems like a reasonably normal day in the breeder hood.

You are probably right. Think I just need to realign my patterns. Like not grocery shopping between certain hours on senior citizen day only more expansive.

emor wrote:
RANDO LIFE IS LIFE ON THE EDGE

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 10:50
ShartAttack
ShartAttack's picture

Each rando story gives me another scene in the psychosexual thriller I'm writing about a cyclist who obsessively and mirthlessly pedals around a midwestern metropolis. Chance encounters with strangers only fuel his need for speed, as pedaling is the only way he can ameliorate his crippling anxiety. Thus, the bicycle represents both a literal and metaphorical escape, to run from other caffeine addicts and freds as well as his inner demons. Between rides he haphazardly composes illegible manifestos which he posts on the internet, further compounding his isolation.

Until he encounters another man on the MUP. He is faster. He is crankier. He's Buddha, he's Jesus. And our protagonist is drawn into a dangerous game of cat and mouse; longing gazes at Starbucks, titillating and taunting messages on Strava, furious sprints through potholes 7 feet deep. A crescendo of anticipation builds between the two riders until...

I don't have the rest of the plot yet but I figure it will be called "Low Hanging Fruit" or maybe just "Hardman" depending on how sexy the ending is

Former RAGBRAI enthusiast

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 11:08
ryker

lol

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 11:09
Tail Hook Lengthener
Tail Hook Lengthener's picture

Holy shit.

Sneaky Viking wrote:
when you look back at your life sometimes you see a set of hands on your keyboard and a set of paws, but sometimes there's only a set of paws and that's when Tarckbear was typing for you.

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 11:14
cookietruck
cookietruck's picture
(Reply to #272)

bonechilling wrote:
Holy shit.

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 11:24
chazzwazzer
chazzwazzer's picture
(Reply to #273)

cookietruck wrote:
bonechilling wrote:
Holy shit.

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 11:34
Larry Winget
Larry Winget's picture

slow clap

The Pitbull of Personal Development®

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 11:38
NOVELTYNAME
NOVELTYNAME's picture

long hanging hardmans fruitballs

"Folks want options!"

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 11:43
randsome beast
randsome beast's picture

So glad your day job allows you time to work on these side projects. I'd be happy to proofread anything you've compiled thus far. How you place yourself within the world of the protagonist is just amazing.

emor wrote:
RANDO LIFE IS LIFE ON THE EDGE

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 12:38
JUGE FREDD
JUGE FREDD's picture
(Reply to #277)

ShartAttack wrote:

It's a struggle, but you cut out his tongue, and his last words are "atmo atmo Atmo ATMO ATMOOOOOGORIHGGHRSHGGRLMGGMMGMgrrglegurglegrr....."
– akasnowmaaan

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 12:47
euclid
euclid's picture

actual lols

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 12:50
Tail Hook Lengthener
Tail Hook Lengthener's picture
(Reply to #279)

JUGE FREDD wrote:
ShartAttack wrote:

The caption is incorrect - it's erotic friend fiction.

Sneaky Viking wrote:
when you look back at your life sometimes you see a set of hands on your keyboard and a set of paws, but sometimes there's only a set of paws and that's when Tarckbear was typing for you.

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 13:04
NOVELTYNAME
NOVELTYNAME's picture

lol just thinking about it
touching each others butts

"Folks want options!"

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 13:50
ShartAttack
ShartAttack's picture

A friendly athletic spank between two hardmen suddenly became something much, much deeper

Former RAGBRAI enthusiast

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 14:07
fixed
fixed's picture

maybe it can be like one of those indy films with the really short title "hardman" and the really long subtitle, which would make it "hardman: the land of the seven foot deep potholes"

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 15:24
randsome beast
randsome beast's picture

emor wrote:
RANDO LIFE IS LIFE ON THE EDGE

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 02:00
CheshireCat
CheshireCat's picture

WTF where can i buy those sidis?

-is a cat
-is a REAL doctor!

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 02:22
randsome beast
randsome beast's picture

Become an emergency last string team Lampre replacement for the Giro and hope the guy you replaced wears the same size you do.

emor wrote:
RANDO LIFE IS LIFE ON THE EDGE

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 02:41
ergott
ergott's picture
(Reply to #286)

rando wrote:

Love this.

But flat bars?

If someone on here did it, I'd probably like it. Since it was done by someone I don't know, they're a fucking idiot.

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 12:04
randsome beast
randsome beast's picture

Must have forgot to crop that out or use a bokeh filter before posting on the interweb

emor wrote:
RANDO LIFE IS LIFE ON THE EDGE

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 12:27
naterod
naterod's picture

fucking hell I want those sidis

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 12:28
lukasz
lukasz's picture

fluo just wasn't far enough

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 23:50
Andrew_Squirrel
Andrew_Squirrel's picture

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 12:01
randsome beast
randsome beast's picture

emor wrote:
RANDO LIFE IS LIFE ON THE EDGE

Sat, 05/17/2014 - 18:50
dorth
dorth's picture

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 02:44
Blakey
Blakey's picture

I spy Jeff's gut

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 03:17
aerobear
aerobear's picture
(Reply to #294)

ShartAttack wrote:
Each rando story gives me another scene in the psychosexual thriller I'm writing about a cyclist who obsessively and mirthlessly pedals around a midwestern metropolis. Chance encounters with strangers only fuel his need for speed, as pedaling is the only way he can ameliorate his crippling anxiety. Thus, the bicycle represents both a literal and metaphorical escape, to run from other caffeine addicts and freds as well as his inner demons. Between rides he haphazardly composes illegible manifestos which he posts on the internet, further compounding his isolation.

Until he encounters another man on the MUP. He is faster. He is crankier. He's Buddha, he's Jesus. And our protagonist is drawn into a dangerous game of cat and mouse; longing gazes at Starbucks, titillating and taunting messages on Strava, furious sprints through potholes 7 feet deep. A crescendo of anticipation builds between the two riders until...

I don't have the rest of the plot yet but I figure it will be called "Low Hanging Fruit" or maybe just "Hardman" depending on how sexy the ending is

man can't believe i missed this by never reading this thread

crowding wrote:
Every time i eat Dick's I just wind up disappointed that I'm not getting In-n-Out.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 10:25
Sneaky Viking
Sneaky Viking's picture

lolled all over again.

I hope "Low Hanging Fruit" is the sexier of the two endings.

ckd wrote:
I mean, seriously. We're just a bunch of washed up bicycle burnout dipshits.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 10:27
TimArchyLime
TimArchyLime's picture

I'm thinking that there is either no dialogue or maybe it's narrated in french with no subtitles.

Snarky Varking wrote:
Tarckbike- Where mile 11 means you're on a long ride.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 10:56
Endpoint
Endpoint's picture

Bro... it's rando. There will be dialogue.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 10:58
Rusty Piton
Rusty Piton's picture
(Reply to #298)

tarckeemoon wrote:
rando wrote:
The frame is one thing but the trailer is what kills me.

Needs Gates drive.

I'm on the fence about this one.

emor wrote:
Bicycle commuting is the worst way to get anywhere except for all the other ways.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 13:32
Tail Hook Lengthener
Tail Hook Lengthener's picture
(Reply to #299)

aerobear wrote:
ShartAttack wrote:
Each rando story gives me another scene in the psychosexual thriller I'm writing about a cyclist who obsessively and mirthlessly pedals around a midwestern metropolis. Chance encounters with strangers only fuel his need for speed, as pedaling is the only way he can ameliorate his crippling anxiety. Thus, the bicycle represents both a literal and metaphorical escape, to run from other caffeine addicts and freds as well as his inner demons. Between rides he haphazardly composes illegible manifestos which he posts on the internet, further compounding his isolation.

Until he encounters another man on the MUP. He is faster. He is crankier. He's Buddha, he's Jesus. And our protagonist is drawn into a dangerous game of cat and mouse; longing gazes at Starbucks, titillating and taunting messages on Strava, furious sprints through potholes 7 feet deep. A crescendo of anticipation builds between the two riders until...

I don't have the rest of the plot yet but I figure it will be called "Low Hanging Fruit" or maybe just "Hardman" depending on how sexy the ending is

man can't believe i missed this by never reading this thread

Yeah, it's pretty much the best thing in the history of this forum.

Sneaky Viking wrote:
when you look back at your life sometimes you see a set of hands on your keyboard and a set of paws, but sometimes there's only a set of paws and that's when Tarckbear was typing for you.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 21:48
Blakey
Blakey's picture

We had a few of those over the pond (written in 2010, so fixies were still a thing)

Quote:
Brian O'Conner is a police officer tasked with infiltrating the Los Angeles fixed gear scene, suspected to be the origin of a string of high-speed BOB trailer hijackings perpetrated by a trio of luridly colour wayed Bianchi Pistas. Brian gets a job at a local shop and works his way up until finally getting an opportunity to compete against elite messenger Dominic Toretto and two other contestants at a large, late-night alley cat. Brian barters his way into the race with the title for his 2009 Bianchi Pista Concept. He loses the race, but gains Toretto's respect when he gives him a dinky after the police arrive and bust the race.
The next day, Brian's superior voices concern that Toretto might be the source of the hijackings and warns Brian not to let anything cloud his judgment. Soon afterward, Brian discovers a cache of NJS parts hidden in the back of Johnny Tran's spencer shop, and authorizes the police to raid the shop and Tran's house believing them to be the source of the hijackings. However, a connection is not found. Brian's superior again warns that Toretto is behind the hijackings and tells him that the BOB riders are about to take matters in their own hands. Running out of time, Brian asks Toretto about how he gets his income, Toretto agrees to reveal the source as long as Brian wins at the upcoming Revolution, a legitimate ‘velodrome’ event for real life spencer racers.
During Revolution, Toretto's friend Jesse races his imprisoned father's 1986 Ken Evans against Johnny Tran's '00 NJS Makino for ‘visa receipts’ and loses. In a state of panic, Jesse hastily flees the track instead of surrendering his NJS item. Later that night, Toretto and his gang go out to do another hijacking. Brian confesses to Mia that he is a cop and tells her that the BOB riders are now armed. He convinces her to come with him to save her brother and his friends. Mia gives Toretto's cell phone number to the cops and they track him down.
During the hijacking, Vince is severely injured after the BOB rider pulls out a frozen bidon and throws it at his torso. The other gang members attempt to help, but are thwarted. Brian comes in, rescues Vince, and jumps off the BOB as the trucker finishes refreezing his bidon and throws, narrowly missing him. Brian then calls an air ambulance in for the critically injured Vince, revealing to Toretto that he is a cop, and Toretto pedals off angrily.
At Toretto's house, Brian attempts to confront Toretto. Just at that moment, Jesse comes up. Johnny Tran and his cousin come up at that time and do a ride by U Locking, killing Jesse. Brian and Toretto go after them. Toretto forces the cousin off a 5 step rail while Brian stabs Tran with a NOS Colnago frame pump, killing him. They then engage in an impromptu skid contest. Toretto is injured after he sideswipes a passing truck. Both of them then hear police sirens. Knowing Toretto will be arrested, Brian gives him the keys to his mini Krypronite u lock and allows him to escape.
After the final credits, Dom races through the desert and his voice can be heard saying "I live my life an intersection at a time, nothing else matters, for those ten seconds or less.... I'm free"

Quote:
A couple of noob hipsters are riding their 70s gaspipe conversions when noob 1 notices a dilapidated old 3Rensho NJS sprint spencer parked outside a house. They stop and have a look at it, after which an old guy comes out of the house. It's the perfect size and colour and Noob 1 agrees to buy the 3Rensho.

While Noob 1 and the old guy go into the house to settle the deal, Noob 2 swings a leg over the old 3Rensho. He puts a foot on a pedal, a hand on the bar and immediately has a vision of himself on the spencer, on the day it was built, racing Keirin. He snaps out of it, freaked out, and doesn't think Noob 1 should buy it. But it's too late and both Noobs leave and go home.

Noob 1 sets about 'restoring' the 3Rensho. despite his limited understanding, experience, knowledge or tools. Noob 1's family and Noob 2 notice the spencer's restoration and wonder how he managed to do it. Unbeknownst to them, Noob 1 is under the influence of the 3Rensho. And the 3Rensho is actually restoring itself. As the spencer comes back to life, Noob 1 gradually becomes a cun-t, posting bullshit advice and opinions on web forum sites, buying NJS parts, dissing everyone else's ride, wearing Rapha and hanging around Spoke(n).

In the meantime, the old guy dies and the Noobs go to his funeral where in conversation an estranged mate of the old guy tells them about how his friend bought the spencer and gradually turned into a cun-t, after which everybody hated him and thought he was a cun-t. Noob 2 notices Noob 1 becoming a cun-t and doesn't like it. Eventually Noob 1 becomes a total cun-t, turning up to alleycats and causing trouble, riding brakeless without either a clue or foot retention and everybody hates him. Soon after, all Noob 1's family begin to die in mysterious ways, all somehow seeming to involve the 3Rensho.

But meanwhile Noob 2 is a bit more switched on than Noob 1 and he suspects that it's the 3Rensho doing the killing. He investigates the spencer's provenance and strings together enough evidence to suspect that the 3Rensho is actually 400 years old and has been orchestrating the entire fixed gear subcu1ture explosion of the 21st century.

He tries to destroy it by riding it on dirt trails and riding with roadie bunches. He inflicts some superficial wounds but the 3Rensho rebuilds itself. He drills the fork and puts a brake on it to make it a bit less dangerous but the next morning the caliper is left hanging next to the undrilled fork...with a sheared caliper bolt still in the crown!. Noob 2 returns home exhausted and beaten, with the pistadex unchanged.

Soon after, Noob 1 is riding the 3Rensho down Swanston St when he runs the red at Bourke St heading south and is killed in a fiery explosion when he gets hit by the 96 tram heading east, obscured by the tour bus Noob 1 was passing on the inside.

Noob 2 rushes down to Swanston St after reading a sketchy report on the BV forum while sitting at his desk catching up on eBay, fyxomatosis & bikeforums.net. He's sad for his friend Noob 1, but he's relieved that the 3Rensho is finally destroyed.

As the sun comes out and Noob 2 leaves the crash scene, slowly zoom in to the pile of smoking rubble and see the remains of an Ishiwata 019 seat tube gently straighten itself.....

The End

Quote:
High school senior Daniel moves with his mother from Moe to Melbourne. Their apartment's handyman is an eccentric but kindly and humble Japanese immigrant named Koichi.

Daniel meets a girl, Carla, who is a popular girl at the local high school; but earns the enmity of her ex-boyfriend, Hayden, a track cyclist. Hayden is the best track cyclist at the Harrison St. velodrome, where he is taught an unethical, vicious form of track racing. Daniel knows some cycling from books, but is ridiculed for his crappy Huffy and poor cycling skills by Hayden and his friends.

When Koichi witnesses one of the ridiculings, he intervenes and challenges all five cyclists to a race, he wins with ease. Awed, Daniel asks Koichi to be his coach. Koichi refuses, but agrees to go with Daniel to the Brunswick cycling club rooms in order to resolve the conflict. They confront the coach, Bruce, an ex-Commonwealth games track cyclist who sneers at the concepts of mercy and restraint. Bruce and Koichi agree to a race between Hayden and Daniel in two months' time at the Blackburn Track Carnival, where the Brunswick cyclists can race Daniel on equal terms. Koichi also requests that the bullying stop while Daniel trains. Bruce orders his students to leave Daniel alone, but threatens that if Daniel does not show up for the carnival, the harassment will resume and Koichi will also become a target.

Koichi becomes Daniel's coach and, slowly, a surrogate father figure. He begins Daniel's training by having him perform laborious chores. Each chore is accompanied with a specific movement, such as clockwise/counter-clockwise foot motions. Daniel eventually feels frustrated, believing he has learned nothing of cycling. When he expresses his frustration, Koichi reveals that Daniel has been learning cycling skills through muscle memory learned by performing the chores.

As Daniel's training continues "in the open" his bond with Koichi becomes closer. He learns that Koichi is an ex-Keirin rider with many accolades and awards to his name.

Through the teaching, Daniel learns not only cycling, but also important life lessons, such as the importance of balance, reflected by the belief that cycle training is as much about training the spirit as the body. Daniel applies the life lessons that Koichi has taught him to strengthen his relationship with Carla. In one instance, he apologises to her for being a jerk. Before the carnival, on Daniel's birthday, Koichi surprises Daniel by giving him a fully restored Nagasawa that he used to race in Japan.

At the carnival, Daniel surprises everyone by reaching the semi-finals. Hayden advances to the finals, winning his semi-final three full lengths ahead of a highly skilled rider. Bruce instructs Don, one of his more compassionate students and the least vicious of Daniel's tormentors, to disable Daniel with an illegal passing move that clips Daniel's wheel. Don reluctantly does so, injuring Daniel. With Daniel unable to continue, Koichi assures him he has already proven himself. Despondent, Daniel believes that if he does not continue his tormentors will have gotten the best of him. He persuades Koichi to use a pain suppression technique to allow him to finish the tournament. As Hayden is about to be declared the winner by default, Daniel hobbles into the velodrome.

Bruce directs Hayden to repeat unethical moves to achieve victory. Despite the moves, and how many times Daniel is shouldered and knocked, he gets back on Hayden's wheel again each time. Ultimately Daniel and Hayden are tied, both one lap away from victory. Daniel, barely able to pedal, assumes the "zen pedal" stance, and delivers a series of lightning quick pedal strokes, winning the carnival. Hayden, having gained newfound respect for his adversary, takes Daniel's trophy from the Master of Ceremonies and presents it to Daniel himself.

sequel to above

Quote:
The film begins six months after the first, shortly after Daniel's Year 12 formal. Daniel receives several pieces of bad news, having been dumped by Carla, crashed his Nagasawa and learned that his mother will move to Moe for work. Koichi takes Daniel to his backyard and restores the boy's focus by having him build a new wing for Koichi's house. This architectural work has a hidden side: It is revealed that Daniel is building a guest room for himself, Koichi having arranged for Daniel to live with him while his mother goes to Moe.

Koichi receives a letter telling him his father is dying. Koichi intends to return to Japan alone, but Daniel uses part of his university savings to accompany him. Arriving in Kokura City, they are confronted by Koichi's old friend, Sato and his favorite nephew, Chozen. They were once best friends who studied cycling under Koichi's father, but became rivals because they loved the same woman, Yukie. Koichi fled Kokura to avoid a race with Sato.

Koichi and Daniel are welcomed to Kokura by Yukie and her niece Kumiko. They learn that Sato is now a rich industrialist, whose supertrawlers have destroyed the local fish population, impoverishing the cities inhabitants, who have turned to tourism to survive. Further complicating the lives of the citizens is the fact that they rent their property from Sato, who has slowly acquired the entire city over the years.

On his deathbed, Koichi's father begs for both his son and student to make peace with each other by drawing their hands together. Once he gasps his last breath, Sato pulls his hand away, telling Koichi that out of respect for his coach, he will give him the customary period to mourn, but will expect to face him in a final race.

During the course of their stay in Kokura, Koichi teaches Daniel that the secret to his family's cycling lies in a handheld drum that beats itself when twisted back and forth. This "drum technique", as Koichi calls it, represents the cadence rythym that Daniel attempts to practice during the course of the film. Koichi warns him that the powerful technique should only be used as a last resort.

Meanwhile, Daniel has run afoul of Chozen and his gang (Taro and Toshio) by revealing that they were cheating the villagers. Additionally, during a visit to Hiroshima, Daniel is forced by Chozen to attempt to beat the record for the Minute Challenge. Koichi, upon arriving, bets a large amount of money thet Daniel will succeed. Sato, also arriving, covers the bet. Daniel, using a breathing meditation technique taught to him earlier in the film, is able to break the record. Chozen and the others continue to harass Daniel and Kumiko, an attractive young Okinawan who wishes to someday study dance and leave her country, and sparks a romantic interest in Daniel. One night Chozen and his thugs heavily damage the bicycle collection which once belonged to Koichi's father. Koichi arrives and scares off the trio, and then makes the decision to return to the U.S. the following morning.

Koichi is greeted by Sato and a fleet of bulldozers and other earth-moving equipment the following morning. Sato threatens to destroy and redevelop the velodrome if Koichi persists in his refusal to race him. Angered at being pushed into a corner in this manner, Koichi finally agrees to race his former friend, on the condition that no matter who wins, Sato must agree to relinquish the title to the city's homes to them. Sato balks, stating that he asks for too much. Koichi plays on his pride and replies that it's a small price to pay for his honor. Sato agrees to the terms.

The night of the race, the village is hit by a typhoon. The locals gather at the local shelter, including Koichi and Daniel. Koichi watches Chozen enter and asks him of his uncle. Chozen replies that Sato is dead. Both Daniel and Koichi go to Sato's destroyed club rooms and find Sato pinned under several 3-rensho frames. Koichi splits the frames in half with his bare hands and frees his former friend, taking him to safety.

Daniel then rides to the bell tower, where the girl who rang the warning bell is frozen in fear. Sato sees him struggling and orders Chozen to ride out to help him. Chozen refuses, because he feels that Daniel has dishonored him. Ashamed of his nephew's total lack of compassion, Sato goes after Daniel right as Koichi prepares to leave, asking to go in his stead. Sato helps Daniel free the girl and they dink her back to the shelter, where Sato renounces his nephew. A devastated Chozen flees.

Sato and his earth-movers return the following morning. Sato greets Koichi with a bow, telling him that he is there to help rebuild the city, handing him the deed, and begs forgiveness, which Koichi happily waives off, saying there is nothing to forgive. Daniel takes advantage of the opportunity to ask Sato to hold the upcoming track carnival in the city's velodrome. Sato agrees if Daniel will join him and the other villagers in the celebration.

As Kumiko is performing her dance to start the carnival, the carnival is interrupted by Chozen, who crashes into the velodrome and holds a knife to the frightened girl's throat. Sato implores his nephew to overlook the matter between him and Daniel, stating that he was wrong to hate Koichi and that hate is wrong. Chozen is unfazed by his uncle's words, and tells them he will kill Kumiko if Daniel does not come into the velodrome and race him. Daniel agrees, and does so.

Chozen discards the knife and begins to race Daniel, who is able to hold Chozen's wheel. Both of them are well-matched, and each spends time attacking and responding. However, Chozen slowly gains the upper hand. When Koichi and the other villagers take out their hand drums and beat them in unison, Daniel understands what he must do. As Chozen attacks one final time, Daniel successfully increases his cadence to 300rpm, defeating Chozen. Daniel comes across the line and skids to a stop, he then embraces Kumiko while Koichi eyes him with great pride.

Quote:
Travis is a poorly paid Melbourne courier, surviving from minimal shifts. At a local alleycat, he crosses paths with xbbx, who is in the midst of campaigning for the Cyclist of the Year title, and laments to xbbx of how he’d wish someone would clean up the city, ridding it of the scum, the dirt, and the hipsters riding colour-matched fixies.

He also spies Betsy, one of the organisers of the alleycat, and after approaching her convinces her to join him on a date. They go the launch of the London to Paris fixie film in Collingwood, but she is overcome by the abundance of tight jeans and ironic moustaches, and flees the building feeling violated.

Travis becomes more depressed, and seeks advice from Andy, a wise old courier with a unique hairstyle that is bald on top (and who, incidentally, goes on to become the father figure of a much loved blog, Everybody Loves Fyxomatosis).

Later, he meets Iris, a young high school girl who has left home and is dossing with a local spencer polo player. He takes her out for coffee, and tries to convince her of the evils of spencer polo, but she is young and naïve, and laughs off his suggestions of impending doom.

Becoming more disillusioned with the city around him, Travis retreats to his Brunswick apartment, and spends days focusing his mind and body, testing his limits by training on the rollers for hours on end. He builds up a specific polo spencer, and develops his spencer handling by riding round his apartment. He also creates a revolutionary polo mallet holder on his forearm, that allows him to hide an additional mallet up his sleeve.

He talks to himself in the mirror; “You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? Well I’m the only hipster standing here.” He dresses only in Rapha, including a silk scarf that he wears as a bandanna, a style of headwear rarely seen on the Melbourne streets.

A few days later he heads to Rock ‘n’ Roller racing at the East Brunswick Club, being held as a fundraiser for xbbx’s campaign. He intends to race xbbx, but his attempts to speak to members of the Brunswick Cycling Club fail, as they are suspicious of his inappropriately geared polo spencer, and he eventually flees without racing.

He searches the streets for Iris, and heads into the city where he hears of a rooftop polo match about to start where he is likely to find her. As he heads up the stairs with his polo spencer, he is stopped by a hipster who sneers at his clothing. Travis reveals the hidden mallet from up his sleeve, and he smashes the hipster’s hand, so he may never play polo again.

Travis reaches the rooftop just as the game is about to start, and joins Iris’ team in her place. An enthralling match ensues, in which Travis scores the winning goal, saving Iris from the humiliation of losing at spencer polo. He then attempts to destroy the polo spencer, but fails.

His heroics are discussed at length on the fixed.org and bv spencer forums, and blog posts appear on fyxomatosis.com and cyclingtipsblog.com. Wade Wallace of the cyclingtips blog even mentions Travis’ story in his Fairfax newspaper column. It is here that Iris’ parents read of their daughter’s rescue, and send an email to thank him.

Travis regains his confidence, and goes back to couriering. He crosses paths with Betsy whilst delivering a package, and she mentions that she’d read on the forums about what he’d done. He refutes the tag of hero, gets back on his spencer, and heads off to his next job, a strange smile etched across his face.

Post-production note: The original title for the film was Fixxie Rider, one that was more appropriate but that may have caused confusion between it and a 1969 film of the same name about two spencer couriers from New York who go on an epic cross-country un-supported ride on their way to Mardi Gras in New Orleans. Along the way they come across George, a young hipster riding a brakeless fixie in a small redneck town. But when the three are on an early morning ride George is killed by a passing ute full of bogans who call the cyclists gay and throw beer bottles and eggs at the trio before forcing George into the back of a parked car. Etc. etc…..[/quote

Fri, 05/23/2014 - 00:52

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