Executive Assistant Jackass of the Day

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GrandmaJordan
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Executive Assistant Jackass of the Day

http://sfappeal.com/news/2012/04/das-office-looking-into-online-comments-allegedly-by-cyclist-from-fatal-collision-with-pedestrian.php

1. If you hit and seriously injure someone on your bike, don't post details on the internet. Get a lawyer instead.
2. If you hit and seriously injure someone on your bike, the moral of the story is not that you should wear a helmet.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 18:38
Larry Winget
Larry Winget's picture

GIS for "Chris Bucchere bike"

The Pitbull of Personal Development®

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 19:03
Larry Winget
Larry Winget's picture

cantstopwouldnwanttoanyways

The Pitbull of Personal Development®

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 19:14
Sneaky Viking
Sneaky Viking's picture
(Reply to #3)

tarckeemoon wrote:
GIS for "Chris Bucchere bike"

well he had a fucking horn, apparently.

ckd wrote:
I mean, seriously. We're just a bunch of washed up bicycle burnout dipshits.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 20:29
cookietruck
cookietruck's picture

damn

Fri, 04/06/2012 - 11:02
anomaly

Looks like he belongs to the cycling club I used to belong to. His post on the google group...

Dear Missionistas / Raiders of the Morning, Famiglia and Amigos,

I wrecked on the way home today from the bi-weekly Headlands Raid today. Short story: I'm fine. The pedestrian I clobbered? Not so much.

Long(er) story:

Around 8am I was descending Divisidero Street southbound and about to cross Market Street. The light turned yellow as I was approaching the intersection, but I was already way too committed to stop. The light turned red as I was cruising through the middle of the intersection and then, almost instantly, the southern crosswalk on Market and Castro filled up with people coming from both directions. The intersection very long and the width of Castro Street at that point is very short, so, in a nutshell, blammo.

The quote/unquote "scene of the crime" was that intersection right by the landmark Castro Theatre -- it leads from a really busy MUNI station to that little plaza where The Naked Guy always hangs out. It was commuter hour and it was crowded as all getup. I couldn't see a line through the crowd and I couldn't stop, so I laid it down and just plowed through the crowded crosswalk in the least-populated place I could find.

I don't remember the next five minutes but when I came to, I was in a neck brace being loaded into an ambulance. I remember seeing a RIVER of blood on the asphalt, but it wasn't mine. Apparently I hit a 71-year old male pedestrian and he ended up in the ICU with pretty serious head injuries. I really hope he ends up OK.

They asked me a bunch of stupid easy questions that I couldn't answer, so they kept me for a few hours for observation, gave me a tetanus shot and sent me on my way.

Anyway, other than a stiff neck, a sore jaw/TMJ, a few bruises and some raspberries, I'm totally fine. I got discharged from the hospital durning the lunch hour. The guy I hit was not as fortunate. I really hope he makes it.

The cops took my bike. Hopefully they'll give it back.

In closing, I want to dedicate this story to my late helmet. She died in heroic fashion today as my head slammed into the tarmac. Like the Secret Service would do for a president, she took some serious pavement today, cracking through-and-through in five places and getting completely mauled by the ragged asphalt. May she die knowing that because she committed the ultimate sacrifice, her rider can live on and ride on. Can I get an amen?

Amen.

The moral of this little story is: WYFH

Hoping you'll all keep the rubber side down,
Chris

Fri, 04/06/2012 - 11:11
GrandmaJordan
GrandmaJordan's picture

UGH.

Anyone who lives and/or rides in SF knows that the intersection he's talking about is one of the busiest pedestrian intersections in the city. It's right next to a muni station, and the last stop on the tram line, and is in the very popular Castro neighborhood, which is generally pretty bustling at all hours. Dude says the cross walk "suddenly filled up" like it was a surprise to him, but I can't believe anyone who lives here would be surprised by that. Maybe I'm in the minority, but if I'm coming down a big hill and I know there's a busy and long intersection at the bottom, even if it's not one I know is going to be rapidly filled with pedestrians as soon as the light changes, (particularly if it has a timed walk signal like the lights at this intersection do - it cannot have been a surprise that the light was about to change), I slow down so that I CAN stop. It sounds like the guy was being really irresponsible and ended up killing someone, and that really sucks.

Even so, I hope he smartens up and keeps his mouth shut from here on in, for his own sake.

Budweiser is doing amazing things with limes these days. - Coleman Light with Lime

Fri, 04/06/2012 - 11:30
white folks
white folks's picture

jesus. what a fucking comedown.

distracted by ass pain

Fri, 04/06/2012 - 11:38
johnnyraja
johnnyraja's picture

"I was already way too committed to stop"

What the fuck does that mean

"I was already way too committed to the image and "lifestyle" and fake danger that complete dipshits still associate with brakeless fixed gears to stop, so I killed an elderly man"?

miguelaron wrote:
obese and unamerican
is your name Fat Albert Queda by any chance?

euclid wrote:
If you never open packages or slice fruit, is life really worth living?

Fri, 04/06/2012 - 11:44
NoahGenda
NoahGenda's picture

The best type of fit advice is internet fit advice.

Fri, 04/06/2012 - 11:53
cookietruck
cookietruck's picture

nobr akes

Fri, 04/06/2012 - 11:57
cookietruck
cookietruck's picture

also
really fuckin sad
what a dingdong

Fri, 04/06/2012 - 11:59
NoahGenda
NoahGenda's picture

Thing that gets me is "Moral of the story if WearYourFuckingHelmet"
Instead of "Moral of the story is I really hope I didnt KILL anyone because i am an idiot."

The best type of fit advice is internet fit advice.

Fri, 04/06/2012 - 12:06
mander
mander's picture
(Reply to #13)

jordanpattern wrote:
Even so, I hope he smartens up and keeps his mouth shut from here on in, for his own sake.

i hope they throw the book at this dipshit

Fri, 04/06/2012 - 12:10
anomaly

Dylan (Mission Cycling head) better lawyer up.

Fri, 04/06/2012 - 12:52
hambeki
hambeki's picture

Yeah it's pretty unfortunate that the shop got pulled into this when they had nothing to do with it at all.

MoonCat wrote:
All bikes are really just overpriced crosschecks with different geometries.

Fri, 04/06/2012 - 13:02
Larry Winget
Larry Winget's picture
(Reply to #16)

roy wrote:
Yeah it's pretty unfortunate that the shop got pulled into this when they had nothing to do with it at all.

Seriously.

Brakeless fixie or not this guy exercised extremely poor judgement.

The Pitbull of Personal Development®

Fri, 04/06/2012 - 13:21
white folks
white folks's picture

spent most of the RGR with the mission cycling guys. solid dudes and strong riders.

distracted by ass pain

Fri, 04/06/2012 - 13:30
oogens
oogens's picture

good thing he wrote an obituary for his helmet, it would have been a shame to not recognize the real loss in this accident

Fri, 04/06/2012 - 14:18
JUGE FREDD
JUGE FREDD's picture

another day, another jackass:

http://bethlehempolice.blogspot.com/2012/04/another-expert-cyclist-hit-by-car-on.html
http://bethlehempolice.blogspot.com/2012/04/press-release-city-honors-two-citizens.html

really fortuitous that the camera was rotated the right ways at the right times, and that the other drivers around the jackass were angels (and a cop!)

solid work by the police in general too, they made some great replies to people commenting on their second blog post

It's a struggle, but you cut out his tongue, and his last words are "atmo atmo Atmo ATMO ATMOOOOOGORIHGGHRSHGGRLMGGMMGMgrrglegurglegrr....."
– akasnowmaaan

Fri, 04/06/2012 - 19:51
Larry Winget
Larry Winget's picture

"The juvenile offender has been the first in Bethlehem, and perhaps the state, to be charged under a new section of Pennsylvania law that provides additional protection for cyclists on our roadways. The section took effect at 12:01 a.m. on the date of the crash."

Lulz.

The Pitbull of Personal Development®

Fri, 04/06/2012 - 20:07
b-roll
b-roll's picture

Kudos to the bus driver for penning the dude in. Conscious drivin', mon.
Glad to see the commuter get back up so fast.

"You know it's dumb. I know it's dumb. But fuck it, I still love it."

Fri, 04/06/2012 - 20:25
turpencat
turpencat's picture
(Reply to #22)

b-roll wrote:
Kudos to the bus driver for penning the dude in. Conscious drivin', mon.
Glad to see the commuter get back up so fast.

this
the thing is though that guy could be really hurt and standing. It takes a while for those kinds of injuries to sink in.

johnnyraja wrote:
If you've never done it then yes, it's very surprising.

Fri, 04/06/2012 - 20:44
white folks
white folks's picture

lemme tell ya about it

distracted by ass pain

Fri, 04/06/2012 - 23:14
turpencat
turpencat's picture

I mean when I just got hit I was standing and walking fine then the next day I had to have the lady sit me up and feed me my pain killer

johnnyraja wrote:
If you've never done it then yes, it's very surprising.

Fri, 04/06/2012 - 23:32
oogens
oogens's picture

fuckin adrenaline, how does it work?

Sat, 04/07/2012 - 02:09
Jeremiah's Johnson
Jeremiah's Johnson's picture
(Reply to #26)

turpencat wrote:
b-roll wrote:
Kudos to the bus driver for penning the dude in. Conscious drivin', mon.
Glad to see the commuter get back up so fast.

this
the thing is though that guy could be really hurt and standing. It takes a while for those kinds of injuries to sink in.

this

They'd be confused by all the rando and think we are a bunch of long ballers.

~coco

Sat, 04/07/2012 - 11:37
DDYTDY
DDYTDY's picture

Dumb youtube comments ruined my feelgood moment.

Glad rider is ok and I love you bus driver.

Sat, 04/07/2012 - 18:45
euclid
euclid's picture
(Reply to #28)

oogenssssss wrote:
fuckin adrenaline, how does it work?

Sat, 04/07/2012 - 20:27
TimArchyLime
TimArchyLime's picture

ICP wrote:
And I don't wanna talk to a scientist
Y'all motherfuckers lying, and getting me pissed

Snarky Varking wrote:
Tarckbike- Where mile 11 means you're on a long ride.

Sat, 04/07/2012 - 20:49
turpencat
turpencat's picture
(Reply to #30)

DDYTDY wrote:
Dumb youtube comments ruined my feelgood moment.

Glad rider is ok and I love you bus driver.

johnnyraja wrote:
If you've never done it then yes, it's very surprising.

Sat, 04/07/2012 - 20:53
b-roll
b-roll's picture
(Reply to #31)

turpencat wrote:
b-roll wrote:
Kudos to the bus driver for penning the dude in. Conscious drivin', mon.
Glad to see the commuter get back up so fast.

this
the thing is though that guy could be really hurt and standing. It takes a while for those kinds of injuries to sink in.

True, but I still say walking after accident has good prognostic value.

"You know it's dumb. I know it's dumb. But fuck it, I still love it."

Sat, 04/07/2012 - 20:57
TimArchyLime
TimArchyLime's picture

I was sitting up when my spine was fractured. I think I moved around at some point but knew better than to try to stand up. Didn't really hit me till I was in the ER.

Snarky Varking wrote:
Tarckbike- Where mile 11 means you're on a long ride.

Sat, 04/07/2012 - 21:35
mander
mander's picture

shock is a helluva thing. natures way of getting your smashed up body to a cave where you can lay low for a while

Sun, 04/08/2012 - 16:37
skregzilla
skregzilla's picture

In every crit crash I've seen, the guys involved immediately jump up right after hitting the ground. It's so bizarre why the human body feels the need to do that.

Sun, 04/08/2012 - 16:43
timberland boots
timberland boots's picture

Did that when I went OTB headfirst into the road when I first started riding bikes. Literally jumped right the fuck back onto my feet, was weird. Mostly shock at not being totally brutally injured ATMO (trashed my helmet and had incredibly sore neck muscles for two weeks afterwards, but at the time nothing that stood out)

Anal Beads Al-Qaeda Ball Gag NAMBLA

Sun, 04/08/2012 - 21:39
white folks
white folks's picture
(Reply to #36)

skregzilla wrote:
In every crit crash I've seen, the guys involved immediately jump up right after hitting the ground. It's so bizarre why the human body feels the need to do that.

stay on the ground while going toe to toe with a sabre toothed cat or whatever and you're guaranteed to be fancy feast. it's like nature's version of this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_emergency_power

yeah i linked a wiki :/

distracted by ass pain

Sun, 04/08/2012 - 22:03
johnnyraja
johnnyraja's picture

Dougtor Heathapedia?

miguelaron wrote:
obese and unamerican
is your name Fat Albert Queda by any chance?

euclid wrote:
If you never open packages or slice fruit, is life really worth living?

Sun, 04/08/2012 - 23:51
hambeki
hambeki's picture
(Reply to #38)

Smitty wrote:
Did that when I went OTB headfirst into the road when I first started riding bikes. Literally jumped right the fuck back onto my feet, was weird. Mostly shock at not being totally brutally injured ATMO (trashed my helmet and had incredibly sore neck muscles for two weeks afterwards, but at the time nothing that stood out)

I've done this twice. Once I hopped up, straightened my shit out, and rode home. Felt like I'd been hit by a train the next day.

The other time I was knocked unconscious. I don't remember anything, but apparently I tried to fight the medics when I started coming to (or whatever).

And then tried to fight the ER docs when they tried to deal with me.

I probably could have taken those fuckers in a fair fight.

MoonCat wrote:
All bikes are really just overpriced crosschecks with different geometries.

Mon, 04/09/2012 - 01:42
lloyd
lloyd's picture

My girl (least aggressive gal ever) tried to fight the paramedics loading her into an ambulance after she knocked herself unconscious wiping out on some wet tracks recently. I talked to someone with emergency response training and they said that it happens all the time with patients who are just regaining consciousness. What's up with that?

worse than yesterday but better than tomorrow

Mon, 04/09/2012 - 04:37
lofarkas
lofarkas's picture
(Reply to #40)

mander wrote:
jordanpattern wrote:
Even so, I hope he smartens up and keeps his mouth shut from here on in, for his own sake.

i hope they throw the book at this dipshit

Mon, 04/09/2012 - 05:46
GrandmaJordan
GrandmaJordan's picture

http://sfappeal.com/news/2012/04/cyclist-who-struck-pedestrian-who-later-died-could-face-felony-charges.php

A driver reportedly saw Bucchere running red lights and blowing stop signs right before he hit the pedestrian.

Budweiser is doing amazing things with limes these days. - Coleman Light with Lime

Mon, 04/09/2012 - 14:34
oogens
oogens's picture
(Reply to #42)

lloyd wrote:
My girl (least aggressive gal ever) tried to fight the paramedics loading her into an ambulance after she knocked herself unconscious wiping out on some wet tracks recently. I talked to someone with emergency response training and they said that it happens all the time with patients who are just regaining consciousness. What's up with that?

fight or flight/self preservation in dangerous situations

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 02:06
wescoe
wescoe's picture

Jordan, that intersection is like a mile wide too. I can't imagine coming down Castro, looking at the sidewalk timers, and not making a go/no go decision way before it being too late to stop. If he was sw8 nob rakesing it, sucks its the ped that took all the damage. Sounds like he was going way too fast for that situation. Everyone in the city that rides knows anything involving market is dangerzone and not to go bombing down Castro into Market or bad things happen.

Also, here is the street view of the intersection according to how I read the account. http://g.co/maps/39buq Like Jordan said, one of the busiest intersections in the city that I can think of.

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 04:38
Ashes Dust
Ashes Dust's picture

Just saw in the news that dude is being charged with Vehicular Manslaughter.

LOL. Stay right there. Imma go put some cones out. - Heath
edit2: dont GIS, i did, dont. NSFW - Miguel

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 10:41
Rusty Piton
Rusty Piton's picture

Good. Sounds like he's guilty of that crime.

emor wrote:
Bicycle commuting is the worst way to get anywhere except for all the other ways.

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 10:59
cookietruck
cookietruck's picture

wow
surprised all those dudes that say don't talk about your accident online
can actually say i told you so now

but i guess
kid is dumb enough to blow through a stale red at 30mph like that
then he also dumb enough to admit it online posting under his real name
mindblown

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 11:12
NoahGenda
NoahGenda's picture
(Reply to #47)

cookietruck wrote:
kid is dumb enough to blow through a stale red at 30mph like that

This is what gets me. From the beginning I assumed he was some sweet fixie bro, but in fact he is actually a 36 year old Stanford graduate with some pretty successful companies he runs.
http://www.crunchbase.com/person/chris-bucchere-2

I mean unless someone chose their online identity to be named after this man, but all the papers and articles said "Bucchere and Bucchere's lawyer" so I assume it is actually this guy.

The best type of fit advice is internet fit advice.

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 14:14
Larry Winget
Larry Winget's picture

It helps, but you really don't need to be a 20something fixiebro to ride a bike like a douchebag.

The Pitbull of Personal Development®

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 14:26
akasnowmaaan
akasnowmaaan's picture

I'm glad people like that say too much online. I encourage it. It helps them get what they deserve.

bork bork bork

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 14:42
hamb3ik
hamb3ik's picture

he probably had too many spacers.

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 14:49

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