Holy shit/Bike Shop lulz

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deadforkinglast
deadforkinglast's picture

I would definitely try to work at that shop.

Tue, 02/22/2011 - 20:57
liquify
liquify's picture

Sneaky Viking wrote:
that place looked absolutely filthy.

You don't want to see the basement, or a wide shot for that matter. It is a little cleaner now after he had a heart attack going on two years ago, but still pretty ratty.
And fear not, a bigger shop is just two blocks north, so they get plenty of the action he pushed away. That or the kids just ditched the bikes. I thought the other shop had a few guys that were asshats there, too, and that was after being harangued by Bruce.

Tue, 02/22/2011 - 23:07
bigmatt

Sneaky Viking wrote:
frosty mongrel wrote:
how on earth does that place stay in business?

the thing about shitty bike shops near college campuses is: they can afford to be dickheads because the clientele keeps refreshing... every semester there are fresh faces to abuse.

that place looked absolutely filthy.

Truth to that. We have a horrible bike shop here that has the best location for students. They wouldn't know how to fix a bike if their life depended on it. They sell overpriced used bikes that have been steamed cleaned, and rip people off daily. The owner is a major creep too (registered sex offender) as well a crook. The shop has been in business for decades because of the influx of naive college students.

Tue, 02/22/2011 - 23:41
VT regularbike
VT regularbike's picture

bigmatt wrote:
Sneaky Viking wrote:
frosty mongrel wrote:
how on earth does that place stay in business?

the thing about shitty bike shops near college campuses is: they can afford to be dickheads because the clientele keeps refreshing... every semester there are fresh faces to abuse.

that place looked absolutely filthy.

Truth to that. We have a horrible bike shop here that has the best location for students. They wouldn't know how to fix a bike if their life depended on it. They sell overpriced used bikes that have been steamed cleaned, and rip people off daily. The owner is a major creep too (registered sex offender) as well a crook. The shop has been in business for decades because of the influx of naive college students.

I didn't feel like chiming in before but yeah, every college town has a shop like that. They're always the closest shop, doesn't give a fuck at all, and then there's the one a few blocks farther away that is way more competent and maybe marginally pricier. Dirty shops like that are awesome if you can get buddy buddy with the always dick head owner and get solid deals on used parts he would be too lazy to sell otherwise. If you need some pro work done you don't feel comfortable doing yourself, that is NOT the shop to go to.

Miguel wrote:
i mean as long as we're spending money, lets just set the wallet on fire ok

Tue, 02/22/2011 - 23:51
deadforkinglast
deadforkinglast's picture

Heh, my friend worked at one of those in Santa Cruz for a little bit before he quit in disgust. It was epic lulz, though.

Wed, 02/23/2011 - 00:15
dougtruck
dougtruck's picture

thats basically why i could never work at a bike shop. i'd fucking rage on people.

like this dude i seent at city bikes,
brought in nearly NOS derosa, to convert to sw8 fixie

i'd seriously stab someone

Wed, 02/23/2011 - 02:07
pirate
pirate's picture

deadforkinglast wrote:
Heh, my friend worked at one of those in Santa Cruz for a little bit before he quit in disgust. It was epic lulz, though.

Which one, if you don't mind me asking?

Machines were mice and men were lions once upon a time, but now that its the opposite it's twice upon a time.

Wed, 02/23/2011 - 02:27
deadforkinglast
deadforkinglast's picture

Not at all. Bike Shop Santa Cruz on Mission. The one with the big sign out front that says "FIXIES-Starting at $299!!!!"

Seriously, all bad.

Wed, 02/23/2011 - 02:30
oogens
oogens's picture

I should take some pictures of what the campus bike shop has. I have a couple of friends that work there, they say their boss keeps telling them to build sw8 fixies even though they're not selling well.

they build up this red and yellow origin8 bike, put a laughable $550 price tag on it. They also have a soma rush that was originally $900 when they first put it out for sale...3 years ago.

Wed, 02/23/2011 - 02:33
Tail Hook Lengthener
Tail Hook Lengthener's picture

bradencbc wrote:
Seen a few broken Extralights myself. Employee's Lynsky 29er shit the bed last year. A few other random ti bikes over the years too.

Maybe when I get old and infirm I'll see the point of ti bikes... now not so much.

The first generation Pro 29ers were pretty bad, we saw a few crack at the sliders, and another crack around the seatpost.

As for the point of Ti bikes, they're light and strong, and they ride well. They never rust, and are typically made domestically to a pretty exacting standard. What's not to get?

Sneaky Viking wrote:
when you look back at your life sometimes you see a set of hands on your keyboard and a set of paws, but sometimes there's only a set of paws and that's when Tarckbear was typing for you.

Wed, 02/23/2011 - 09:06
biek

it's not uncommon for bike shops to refuse to work on department store bikes.

i don't find it the slightest bit unreasonable to refuse to fix a flat on a bike that has two non-working brakes, or the example the dude says a bike with 3 out of 4 bearing surfaces missing bearings.
there's a shop near me (that often deals with lower end, older bikes) that requires you to sign a waiver form if you bring your bike in for service and don't want to fix something that is a potential safety hazard (brakes, etc).

crazy bike shop dude is a dickiw in my book.

braden, does your shop work on dept. store bikes?

pappaheugwang wrote:
u mad bro?

Wed, 02/23/2011 - 09:22
OffalWaffle
OffalWaffle's picture

I have been to Bruce's shop...feeds his cats out of broken bowl fragments...metal

Still better than Durst Cycles though...couldn't keep a straight face when people were saying that name

Wed, 02/23/2011 - 13:43
liquify
liquify's picture

Durst is the worst.

Wed, 02/23/2011 - 14:03
Elderbear
Elderbear's picture

johnnyraja wrote:
This is the most pointless conversation ever had on a forum entirely devoted to pointless conversation.

Wed, 02/23/2011 - 14:24
Freestyler Faixee
Freestyler Faixee's picture

^worst

Wed, 02/23/2011 - 15:15
Endpoint
Endpoint's picture

biekridd wrote:

braden, does your shop work on dept. store bikes?

Sometimes. If it's bad off we don't but we explain exactly why while trying very hard to not be jerks. It helps that our labor rates are higher than the smaller campus shops so that keeps some of the real bad off bikes away and I think the fact that our service department is not visible from the front (and the front looks NICE) also helps weed out some stuff. Usually if you calmly explain to a customer what the bike needs and why it will cost what it will cost they thank you for not working on the bike.

My go to saying is "if you really want we will do the work, but I really don't feel good about taking your money because I don't think it's going to be worth it in the long run for you." That almost always gets a positive response.

My beef with dude in the video is two things...

One, he makes all shops look bad in the same way the jackass on a fixxy blasting through traffic makes all cyclists look bad. He helps perpetuate the idea that shops are staffed by elitist assholes or washed up curmudgeons.

Two, as a customer you should not have to build up a tolerance to the workers to get good service. I hate when people say "once you get to know Bob he's not so bad" or "Steve is just like that, but he's a good wrench". I say fuck that. If you are in customer service either suck it up and put on a smile or gtfo. His whole thing about seeing himself as a "consultant" is 100% bullshit. He's just rationalizing treating people in a shitty manner. He does not have to work on the bike but he owes everyone who walks into his shop a bit of respect regardless of what kind of bike they ride.

Who knows... maybe if he cleaned up the place things might be better for him clientele wise. If he wants to work in a garbage heap he really shouldn't be irritated when people bring him trash to work on.

I find it strange that bike shops for some reason think they are exempt from the basic precepts of customer service that define the vast majority of retail. It's strange that shop employees feel that being a prick is acceptable and I think its even stranger that bike shop patrons often accept this as the status quo.

Wed, 02/23/2011 - 21:00
Elderbear
Elderbear's picture

That last bit. Yes. I'm amazed at the number of times customers thank me gratuitously for providing what I think of as pretty basic service, like actualy listening to what they have to say and giving informed suggestions based upon that rather than shoving them on whatever bike I feel like and telling them that's where it's at. Or explaining why their bike needs the service it does or isn't worth the money to fix rather than chewing them out for abusing their shit or rudely telling them their bike is a turd.

johnnyraja wrote:
This is the most pointless conversation ever had on a forum entirely devoted to pointless conversation.

Wed, 02/23/2011 - 21:27
Rusty Piton
Rusty Piton's picture

For the record, you two dudes are probably the two best shop dudes i've ever dealt with.
I'd love to actually visit the shops someday.

emor wrote:
Bicycle commuting is the worst way to get anywhere except for all the other ways.

Sun, 02/27/2011 - 12:17
naterod
naterod's picture

bradencbc wrote:
My beef with dude in the video is two things...

One, he makes all shops look bad in the same way the jackass on a fixxy blasting through traffic makes all cyclists look bad. He helps perpetuate the idea that shops are staffed by elitist assholes or washed up curmudgeons.

Two, as a customer you should not have to build up a tolerance to the workers to get good service. I hate when people say "once you get to know Bob he's not so bad" or "Steve is just like that, but he's a good wrench". I say fuck that. If you are in customer service either suck it up and put on a smile or gtfo. His whole thing about seeing himself as a "consultant" is 100% bullshit. He's just rationalizing treating people in a shitty manner. He does not have to work on the bike but he owes everyone who walks into his shop a bit of respect regardless of what kind of bike they ride.

Who knows... maybe if he cleaned up the place things might be better for him clientele wise. If he wants to work in a garbage heap he really shouldn't be irritated when people bring him trash to work on.

I find it strange that bike shops for some reason think they are exempt from the basic precepts of customer service that define the vast majority of retail. It's strange that shop employees feel that being a prick is acceptable and I think its even stranger that bike shop patrons often accept this as the status quo.

all of this = so much truth

Sun, 02/27/2011 - 12:30
deadforkinglast
deadforkinglast's picture

bradencbc wrote:
I find it strange that bike shops for some reason think they are exempt from the basic precepts of customer service that define the vast majority of retail. It's strange that shop employees feel that being a prick is acceptable and I think its even stranger that bike shop patrons often accept this as the status quo.

We had a guy who used to work at our shop who was just a giant asshole to everyone, all the time, coworkers and customers alike. People would walk in and he would sneeringly look down his nose at them* and ask what they wanted. He would typically cut them off halfway through, tell them what he thought they needed (wrong over 50% of the time) and and then explain to them why their bikes sucked. He worked on the floor, but could never admit that he wasn't a mechanic, so he was constantly putting people's bikes on stands, shifting through the gears and telling them that their shit was broken and needed replacement. He was wrong about this damned near 100% of the time. If you pointed this out, he would turn to the customer and mock you (his coworker) for being a) younger and "less experienced" than him, b) shorter/taller than him or c) white.

Despite all of this, he had a loyal following of (stupid) people who would tell other customers that "you just have to get used to him." Their bikes never worked worth a damn, because they always brought them to him and he never really did shit except lube their chains and sell them shit they didn't really need. I can tell you with confidence that I worked with him for six months and I never got used to him enough that he ever seemed like anything but a total dick. Some people like being treated like shit, I guess.

*the sneering and nose-looking were extra funny because he was only about 5'6", so he ended up tipping his head back most of the time to give the impression of looking down the nose.

Sun, 02/27/2011 - 20:20
pirate
pirate's picture

After dealing with a mechanic like that while trying to build up my first bike, I was determined to learn how to do all of my own work so that I would never really have to deal with another insufferable bike shop douche.

Thank you, brain dead shop jerk.

Machines were mice and men were lions once upon a time, but now that its the opposite it's twice upon a time.

Sun, 02/27/2011 - 21:21
liquify
liquify's picture

Well I am glad this video has been productive for discussion of other lulz, so I will put in one final plug for the guy. One thing to consider is the video purposely shows only the cantankerous interaction, and not the many pleasant ones that have earned him a steady following. I always appreciated his approach to selling bicycles in a number of ways.

The first questions he usually asks people are "how are you going to use it" and "how much they are looking to invest in a bike?." So instead of making assumptions about people, he worked hard to get you a bike you would love and ride the shit out of. People seem to generally know only 'mountain' or 'road' bikes, and we could introduce them to hybrids that served their purposes better for commuting, since they are unlikely to find much gnar to shred in east-central Illinois. The latter question specially deals with his desire for you to learn how to take care of your bike, a process with which he is more than willing to help you (e.g., never change a tire, here's how you do it).

Playing off his initial questions regarding sales, I appreciated his approach to tune-ups. He didn't do them. Instead of charging you a flat rate of $30-60(?) for a 'tune-up,' he would ask you what the bike isn't doing that you want it to/try to pin-point what it was that the bike needed. This way, he wouldn't overcharge for things he didn't do, or things you didn't need done to your bike. I know that may sound obvious on its face-don't bleed the customer-we all can find many instances where this too frequently occurs.

Sun, 02/27/2011 - 21:39
VT regularbike
VT regularbike's picture

Went into my the LBS the other day and noticed they now stock plastic bmx platforms which is hilarious to me because the last time I was looking for bmx platforms they told me "we don't sell plastic pedals because they are cheap and they break"

Miguel wrote:
i mean as long as we're spending money, lets just set the wallet on fire ok

Sun, 02/27/2011 - 22:46
Matthew Trujillo

my lbs has had a raleigh fixie with a $700 price tag on it for the last 2 years. its never going to sell

Sun, 02/27/2011 - 23:08
Elderbear
Elderbear's picture

Rusty Piton wrote:
For the record, you two dudes are probably the two best shop dudes i've ever dealt with.
I'd love to actually visit the shops someday.

Awwww, shucks! I look forward to seeing you, ya sonuvabitch.

johnnyraja wrote:
This is the most pointless conversation ever had on a forum entirely devoted to pointless conversation.

Mon, 02/28/2011 - 16:57
JUGE FREDD
JUGE FREDD's picture

Who the fuck has a "Tire Blowout" sale?

It's a struggle, but you cut out his tongue, and his last words are "atmo atmo Atmo ATMO ATMOOOOOGORIHGGHRSHGGRLMGGMMGMgrrglegurglegrr....."
– akasnowmaaan

Fri, 03/04/2011 - 05:40
Patch
Patch's picture

lulz thred delivers

Fri, 03/04/2011 - 07:24
aerobear
aerobear's picture

I wish the blowout sale was advertising maxxis detonator

crowding wrote:
Every time i eat Dick's I just wind up disappointed that I'm not getting In-n-Out.

Fri, 03/04/2011 - 10:58
chevy42083

Local car tire shop had a huge blow out sale last summer. Advertised on radio. I loled, then sent it to a friend that is an advertising copywriter.

Fri, 03/04/2011 - 12:58
deadforkinglast
deadforkinglast's picture

Buffalo Bill wrote:
Who the fuck has a "Tire Blowout" sale?

So good. I need to implement this at my shop.

We insert misspellings into sales tags for the lulz. All of our kids bikes use the word "peddle" instead of pedal.

i.e. "rockin the peddles"
"your child will be peddling on on the street in no time"
"get your kids peddling early!"
"your kids will be peddling speed! 7 of them!"

etc.

Fortunately, nobody ever reads them.

Fri, 03/04/2011 - 13:13
Larry Winget
Larry Winget's picture

Buffalo Bill wrote:
Who the fuck has a "Tire Blowout" sale?

Second Ascent, apparently.

The Pitbull of Personal Development®

Fri, 03/04/2011 - 13:16
Rusty Piton
Rusty Piton's picture

deadforkinglast wrote:
"your child will be peddling on on the street in no time"

YES!

emor wrote:
Bicycle commuting is the worst way to get anywhere except for all the other ways.

Fri, 03/04/2011 - 13:16
josh
josh's picture

Nice detective work, tarckee. I couldn't figure it out. Might stop by on sunday, I need a new rear tire the road bike pretty bad.

Fri, 03/04/2011 - 14:01
johnnyraja
johnnyraja's picture

deadforkinglast wrote:
So good. I need to implement this at my shop.

We insert misspellings into sales tags for the lulz. All of our kids bikes use the word "peddle" instead of pedal.

i.e. "rockin the peddles"
"your child will be peddling on on the street in no time"
"get your kids peddling early!"
"your kids will be peddling speed! 7 of them!"

etc.

Fortunately, nobody ever reads them.

There is a sign in a local park listing the rules of the park. Number 2 is, "No selling, peddling, or soliciting without a permit." Nowhere does it say anything about bikes. Someone scratched of the top off the second "d" in "peddling" to make it look like "pedaling," and I'm pretty sure i know who it is cuz occasionally when I ride through it this one guy yells at me that I'm not supposed to ride in the park and it says so on the sign and then I flip him off.

miguelaron wrote:
obese and unamerican
is your name Fat Albert Queda by any chance?

euclid wrote:
If you never open packages or slice fruit, is life really worth living?

Fri, 03/04/2011 - 15:16
aerobear
aerobear's picture

there's this goobery lookin' guy who comes in to the shop sometimes

today he came in with some hambeast on a fixie who broke a bolt on her bike. brent had just shown up and brought the TT bike with him and leaned it against the wall.

goober dude was like "did you get that orbeca at river city on close out?"
and brent's like "no"

and hes like "wow thats a cool orbeca.. can i pick it up?"

"no"

"ok i wouldnt let me pick it up either".

i was having a real hard time not pointing out that there's no c in orbea.

crowding wrote:
Every time i eat Dick's I just wind up disappointed that I'm not getting In-n-Out.

Thu, 03/31/2011 - 00:28
aek
aek's picture

What bolt did she break?

doofo wrote:
tarck eats ur soul one lol at a time

Thu, 03/31/2011 - 05:27
Elderbear
Elderbear's picture

aerobear wrote:
i was having a real hard time not pointing out that there's no c in orbea.

lulz. Every once in a while someone will come into the shop and add an "r" to "Madone", pronouncing it "Muh-drone". I have trouble keeping a straight face.

johnnyraja wrote:
This is the most pointless conversation ever had on a forum entirely devoted to pointless conversation.

Thu, 03/31/2011 - 10:17
imoscardotcom
imoscardotcom's picture

aek wrote:
What bolt did she break?

pituitary bolt

Thu, 03/31/2011 - 17:21
wickedwagon
wickedwagon's picture

Elderbear wrote:
aerobear wrote:
i was having a real hard time not pointing out that there's no c in orbea.

lulz. Every once in a while someone will come into the shop and add an "r" to "Madone", pronouncing it "Muh-drone". I have trouble keeping a straight face.

holy shit, i don't even know.

jordanpattern wrote:
BRING ME THE BINDERS OF WOMEN!

Thu, 03/31/2011 - 17:28
wickedwagon
wickedwagon's picture

jordanpattern wrote:
BRING ME THE BINDERS OF WOMEN!

Thu, 03/31/2011 - 17:30
deadforkinglast
deadforkinglast's picture

Some old bitch came in the other day with some shitty road bike and complained that the shifter wasn't working because it didn't "have enough backlash." After a good 15 minutes of going over everything on the bike, my poor coworker concluded that there was nothing wrong with her shifter and that the problem was she wasn't pressing the lever hard enough.

"Well can't you do anything about that?"
"No."
"Well you should!"
"There is literally nothing I can do to make you press the lever harder."
"I'm going to take this to City Cycle."
"You do that."

We had to turn the music up to cover up the laughing from the back of the shop. the entire time he was working on the bike, he was trying to coax some more detailed explanation from her ofthe problem, but she wouldn't stop talking about the lack of backlash.

Thu, 03/31/2011 - 17:41
zombie

I think I'm going to try and pick up a part time bike shop job for the summer to stack some extra cash for my honeymoon, but this shit's depressing.

Thu, 03/31/2011 - 17:49
aek
aek's picture

deadforkinglast wrote:
"There is literally nothing I can do to make you press the lever harder."

fucking lol.

doofo wrote:
tarck eats ur soul one lol at a time

Thu, 03/31/2011 - 18:01
Larry Winget
Larry Winget's picture

I bet she was so mad she pressed that lever extra hard when she left the shop.

The Pitbull of Personal Development®

Thu, 03/31/2011 - 18:08
deadforkinglast
deadforkinglast's picture

I bet she put it back in the backseat of her car and took it to City Cycle, where they told her the exact same thing.

Thu, 03/31/2011 - 18:12
biek

at the bike shop we once had a customer ask us to make the shifter blades on her campag levers larger, because she was having trouble finding them (?) with her fingers. think she wanted sram shaped paddles on her campag setup. (but this predated sram by a few years)
some low end mirage or xenon campag setup.

pappaheugwang wrote:
u mad bro?

Thu, 03/31/2011 - 18:20
Sneaky Viking
Sneaky Viking's picture

zombie wrote:
part time bike shop job for the summer to stack some extra cash

does not compute.

ckd wrote:
I mean, seriously. We're just a bunch of washed up bicycle burnout dipshits.

Thu, 03/31/2011 - 19:20
Larry Winget
Larry Winget's picture

Sneaky Viking wrote:
zombie wrote:
part time bike shop job for the summer to stack some extra cash

does not compute.

He's gonna work at a MTB shop and sell weed out of his shop apron. Duh.

The Pitbull of Personal Development®

Thu, 03/31/2011 - 19:27
turpencat
turpencat's picture

just got job at performance as a mechanic/ sales duder
will report the lols in the future.
today we had a guy return a pro race 3 because the green wasn't green enough to match his bike. so he ordered some other green tire.

johnnyraja wrote:
If you've never done it then yes, it's very surprising.

Thu, 03/31/2011 - 19:27
Sneaky Viking
Sneaky Viking's picture

tarckeemoon wrote:
Sneaky Viking wrote:
zombie wrote:
part time bike shop job for the summer to stack some extra cash

does not compute.

He's gonna work at a MTB shop and sell weed out of his shop apron. Duh.

oshi that's a good idea bro!

ckd wrote:
I mean, seriously. We're just a bunch of washed up bicycle burnout dipshits.

Thu, 03/31/2011 - 19:32

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