Holy shit/Bike Shop lulz

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jr
jr's picture

SUPERVEEPS wrote:
Should have tossed him a hand-up

miguelaron wrote:
obese and unamerican
is your name Fat Albert Queda by any chance?

euclid wrote:
If you never open packages or slice fruit, is life really worth living?

Wed, 12/22/2010 - 11:52
akasnowmaaan
akasnowmaaan's picture

(Jesus climbs to the top of the run-up)

(Looks around)

Hey Matthew! I can see your house from up here!

Should have said it was just a cross check with different geometry. - Todd

Wed, 12/22/2010 - 11:56
Endpoint
Endpoint's picture

Got accused of "cutting my cables and adding those tacky metal things to connect them together".

What this dipshit was trying to tell me is that she just now noticed that her tri bike with a steerer tube extension had in-line barrel adjusters on it all along.

She made sure to trash talk the shop on face book too.

Tue, 02/01/2011 - 21:07
wickedwagon
wickedwagon's picture

lulz at tridorks

jordanpattern wrote:
BRING ME THE BINDERS OF WOMEN!

Tue, 02/01/2011 - 21:21
radicole
radicole's picture

tridorks SUCK.

"oh LOOK, honey! they have the newest edition of Triathlete magazine."

yeah, it's THAT bad.

fuh.

Tue, 02/01/2011 - 22:31
Shortpants
Shortpants's picture

bradencbc wrote:
Got accused of "cutting my cables and adding those tacky metal things to connect them together".

What this dipshit was trying to tell me is that she just now noticed that her tri bike with a steerer tube extension had in-line barrel adjusters on it all along.

She made sure to trash talk the shop on face book too.

Holy shit. Did you tell her to fuck off to 3Sport? And why would she have a steerer tube extension?

Fri, 02/11/2011 - 21:27
Endpoint
Endpoint's picture

naw... she is still a happy customer again. I'm a customer service ninja.

Fri, 02/11/2011 - 21:54
halbritt
halbritt's picture

bradencbc wrote:
naw... she is still a happy customer again. I'm a customer service ninja.

Why in the fuck do you do business with triathletes?

Oh wait. Those are the guys that come in and buy five thousand dollar bikes.

...shift like jesus making one set of footprints in the sand in your time of need

Fri, 02/11/2011 - 22:18
oogens
oogens's picture

uc cycling club had a practice time trial, I did it on the sweetest trek and was slightly hungover, got 31:30 for the 10 mile course (averaged 19mph) and got the slowest time for guys on the team. was like whatever, at least I showed up.

the tri club took off after us, and I heard times for their riders around 33-42 minutes. on tri bikes. lulz

Fri, 02/11/2011 - 23:07
Toast
Toast's picture

Ha, I remember my high school cross country running team went to a local 10mi bike TT. I was one of the few kids who owned a road bike at that point, got about 30:30 on my old Trek 1500.

Our coach was a triathlete, had some sort of absurd Kuota machine that dusted everybody. Good times.

Fri, 02/11/2011 - 23:18
deadforkinglast
deadforkinglast's picture

Some old dude brought his Yeti ASR-5 in to get his mangled XO derailer replaced. My buddy swapped it out, replaced the cable, re-used the housing (this is key) and replaced the twisted-as-fuck chain. When the guy came back, he flipped out at us because a) we replaced the chain (inside the $30 small parts allowance) and b) the housing between the frame and the derailer was "too long," and was going to "snag on branches and stuff." When this comment was followed by a roomful of puzzled mountain bikers' (customers and mechanics) silence and confused stares, he followed up with "I RIDE HARD!" and stormed off. We had to call him later to ask what he wanted us to do with the bike and when he would be back to pay for his derailer and chain. He told us to shorten up the housing and put his old chain on and it goddamn well better be done by TONIGHT. So I did. Now it doesn't shift, the twisted-as-fuck chain doesn't pass through the rear derailer and he owes us for one XO derailer, two shift cables, one foot of housing, a chain and $40 labor.

The customer is always right, right?

Also, I'm coordinating bike rentals for the Escape from Alcatraz Triathlon. Registration for rentals opened up February 1, and we were 90% out of bikes by lunchtime on the first. The last week and a half has just been triathletes calling and emailing claiming to have been "on the list" because they called in mid December and someone they talked to wrote down their email address, therefore it's an outrage that we don't have bikes available and they must speak with the store manager immediately because obviously the store manager has the power to take away people's reservations to give them to you, right? blargh.

Fri, 02/11/2011 - 23:36
aek
aek's picture

Do trigeeks have any redeeming qualities?

doofo wrote:
tarck eats ur soul one lol at a time

Sat, 02/12/2011 - 06:27
Endpoint
Endpoint's picture

Considering this is a cycling related forum I think we should drop talking about triathletes all together. They are not cyclists. They are just douchebags that happened to buy a bike because it is required to own one for part of that thing they are training for on the weekends. It could be swim, play ukulele, run and it would not make a difference to 99% of them.

The one percent of tri geeks I actually like dealing with also come out on group rides, conduct themselves like normal human beings, and a few even do races other than triathlons (the horror!). The others unilaterally suck and are only good for padding sales in our mostly non-tri focused shop. I really pity the shops that have decided to build their business around these people. Yeah they spend lots of money... thats cool... but what about some freakin dignity.

Sat, 02/12/2011 - 08:03
wickedwagon
wickedwagon's picture

aek wrote:
Do trigeeks have any redeeming qualities?

on the bikeshop/bike company side of things, they'll spend money on anything that could possibly make them more aero.

maybe for cyclist, make us feel really good about our bike handling skills.

jordanpattern wrote:
BRING ME THE BINDERS OF WOMEN!

Sat, 02/12/2011 - 15:22
oogens
oogens's picture

wickedwagon wrote:
aek wrote:
Do trigeeks have any redeeming qualities?

on the bikeshop/bike company side of things, they'll spend money on anything that could possibly make them more aero.

maybe for cyclist, make us feel really good about our bike handling skills.

true, whenever i need a boost i just watch this sketchiness http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRKajY5GlyI

Sat, 02/12/2011 - 15:38
Toast
Toast's picture

this is amazing. is there some sort of tri rule about having your shoes clipped in to your pedals and mounting barefoot, or do all of those idiots think that they're saving time by doing that?

Sat, 02/12/2011 - 17:00
wickedwagon
wickedwagon's picture

time savings. coming from swim, it's quicker to have shoes already on bike and get feet in shoes while riding.

*a little ashamed to know that much about tris*

jordanpattern wrote:
BRING ME THE BINDERS OF WOMEN!

Sat, 02/12/2011 - 17:16
Elderbear
Elderbear's picture

Whoa. Was clenching my teeth and cringing hard while that lady weaved back and forth in front of everybody trying to get in her shoes or whatever. Amazing nobody plowed her over. Damn.

johnnyraja wrote:
This is the most pointless conversation ever had on a forum entirely devoted to pointless conversation.

Sat, 02/12/2011 - 18:42
tjayk
tjayk's picture

that clip has to be watched several times to take in all of the amazing fail.

Sat, 02/12/2011 - 18:53
TimArchyLime
TimArchyLime's picture

wickedwagon wrote:
time savings. coming from swim, it's quicker to have shoes already on bike and get feet in shoes while riding.

*a little ashamed to know that much about tris*

It's only quicker if you know how to do it. Just like deep section rims are faster if you can keep your average over 25 mph. But most triathletes stop listening before they hear the "if" part.

Snarky Varking wrote:
Tarckbike- Where mile 11 means you're on a long ride.

Sat, 02/12/2011 - 19:10
liquify
liquify's picture

Also, if my time in the bike shop + Best Buy taught me anything, its that the customer is rarely, if ever, right. Bike shop owner was quite down with that sentiment, too. It was great to see him go off on people, or just basically ignore them. Loved the odd demeanor he could put out coz only real employee and repeats once you get to know him and he knows you at least try to take care of your bikes.

But also what Kyle said about the tris only benefiting if they can do it.

Sat, 02/12/2011 - 19:17
deadforkinglast
deadforkinglast's picture

Generally, people tell me what they want and I nod and give them what they need and they leave happy because they have no idea what they want or need. This is something that I have learned from Tarck.

Sat, 02/12/2011 - 20:12
frankstoneline
frankstoneline's picture

My favorite bikeshop story was when we went to disassemble this dude's cervelo tri bike and move the parts to a transition frame (it was a specialized shop) and tried getting the shifters out of the aero bars. the dude sweated so much that the metal sleeves in the carbon aero bars had corroded. they were completely turned into a white-ish powder. so gross, but pretty funny.

Sat, 02/12/2011 - 21:18
deadforkinglast
deadforkinglast's picture

I love when Triathletes bring in their shit that they can't get off because their sweat has corroded the bolts in place forever. Water bottle cages, aero bars, stems, handlebars, etc. They never even have the courtesy to wipe their shit off, either, so it's just greasy and nasty. Always wear gloves when handling tri bikes. I usually make a show of putting on my gloves, carefully inspecting their shit, putting a few drops of triflow on and telling them that I can't do shit except maybe drill out the bolts or maybe cut off their bars. Then they freak out and I get the drill and they run away. Not even kidding.

Sat, 02/12/2011 - 21:28
Endpoint
Endpoint's picture

Yeah... I love how tri bike designers seem to intentionally put internally routed cable stops and chain stay mounted brakes EXACTLY where they catch the most triathlete juice and get fucked up the fastest.

I actually don't mind dealing with these kinds of things because I'm more than happy to bring out the breaker bar, dremel, or even angle grinder then charge out the ass for doing so.

Sat, 02/12/2011 - 21:33
dougtruck
dougtruck's picture

i sweat like a pig but my bikes never get like that

the difference?

i dont ride 90% of my time on a trainer.

Sat, 02/12/2011 - 23:07
turpencat
turpencat's picture

deadforkinglast wrote:
I love when Triathletes bring in their shit that they can't get off because their sweat has corroded the bolts in place forever. Water bottle cages, aero bars, stems, handlebars, etc. They never even have the courtesy to wipe their shit off, either, so it's just greasy and nasty. Always wear gloves when handling tri bikes. I usually make a show of putting on my gloves, carefully inspecting their shit, putting a few drops of triflow on and telling them that I can't do shit except maybe drill out the bolts or maybe cut off their bars. Then they freak out and I get the drill and they run away. Not even kidding.

pee.

johnnyraja wrote:
If you've never done it then yes, it's very surprising.

Sat, 02/12/2011 - 23:17
JUGE FREDD
JUGE FREDD's picture

white folks wrote:
i dont ride 90% of my time on a trainer.

^^^^ this atmo

See Also: bike handling skills

It's a struggle, but you cut out his tongue, and his last words are "atmo atmo Atmo ATMO ATMOOOOOGORIHGGHRSHGGRLMGGMMGMgrrglegurglegrr....."
– akasnowmaaan

Sat, 02/12/2011 - 23:44
Face
Face's picture

oogenssssss wrote:
wickedwagon wrote:
aek wrote:
Do trigeeks have any redeeming qualities?

on the bikeshop/bike company side of things, they'll spend money on anything that could possibly make them more aero.

maybe for cyclist, make us feel really good about our bike handling skills.

true, whenever i need a boost i just watch this sketchiness http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRKajY5GlyI

holy shit.

there was some tri chick at a crit a couple years ago. at the start she got off her bike, turned it over and started fucking with the qr. meanwhile the guy with the megaphone giving the rest of her fellow cat4 racers insturctions had stopped and was yelling at her to get back on her bike or get off the course.

without triatheletes the world would be less funny.

Mr. Pubes wrote:
i fear that you are so lost in your own asshole that you may never be found again. do you have a flare gun? send for help.

Sat, 02/12/2011 - 23:47
oogens
oogens's picture

one of my favorite parts of the video is the one shoe on the ground at the very end, like someone is going to do the whole bike stage missing a shoe.

Sat, 02/12/2011 - 23:52
kevinwulf
kevinwulf's picture

white folks wrote:
i sweat like a pig but my bikes never get like that

the difference?

i dont ride 90% of my time on a trainer.

Surely the fact that they drip salt water on the bikes (after the swim) and ride near the ocean a lot is the biggest factor in the rusting.

Sun, 02/13/2011 - 00:03
dougtruck
dougtruck's picture

maybe but maybe not. a friend got two merckx off a tri person. both had super early chris king headsets which were so badly corroded we just chucked them. it was just the HT TT area that was corroded...

Sun, 02/13/2011 - 00:56
deadforkinglast
deadforkinglast's picture

turpencat wrote:
deadforkinglast wrote:
I love when Triathletes bring in their shit that they can't get off because their sweat has corroded the bolts in place forever. Water bottle cages, aero bars, stems, handlebars, etc. They never even have the courtesy to wipe their shit off, either, so it's just greasy and nasty. Always wear gloves when handling tri bikes. I usually make a show of putting on my gloves, carefully inspecting their shit, putting a few drops of triflow on and telling them that I can't do shit except maybe drill out the bolts or maybe cut off their bars. Then they freak out and I get the drill and they run away. Not even kidding.

pee.

This is the terrifying explanation I've come to regarding corroded water bottle bolts and seatpost binders. Either these triathletes are storing their $6000 bikes outdoors or...fuck.

Sun, 02/13/2011 - 01:06
TimArchyLime
TimArchyLime's picture

kevinwulf wrote:
white folks wrote:
i sweat like a pig but my bikes never get like that

the difference?

i dont ride 90% of my time on a trainer.

Surely the fact that they drip salt water on the bikes (after the swim) and ride near the ocean a lot is the biggest factor in the rusting.

Most tri's don't involve swimming in salt water. But they do involve people who pee on their bikes and never, ever wash them.

Snarky Varking wrote:
Tarckbike- Where mile 11 means you're on a long ride.

Sun, 02/13/2011 - 01:53
aek
aek's picture

Someone should sockpuppet post this thread on some tri-board and see what they think of pee-corrosion.

doofo wrote:
tarck eats ur soul one lol at a time

Sun, 02/13/2011 - 05:56
curiousincident
curiousincident's picture

i've always wondered how much of the pee thing is myth and god would i love to see a forum of tri dorks sticking up for peeing on your bike as an essential time saving measure for the competitive triathlete.

Sun, 02/13/2011 - 09:50
tjayk
tjayk's picture

if they stop to pee, then they also have to remount their bicycle and accelerate - clearly very dangerous for most triathletes.

Sun, 02/13/2011 - 10:11
circuithero
circuithero's picture

its a policy at my shop to not touch the seat on any tri bike. for fear or pee contamination. i love it when someone has a 'white' seat with a 'yellowish' hue. they always ask, "why are you going out of your way to avoid touching my seat?" "because you pissed on it."

Sun, 02/13/2011 - 11:35
biek

if they were hydrated enough there would be no yellow hue

pappaheugwang wrote:
u mad bro?

Sun, 02/13/2011 - 11:54
circuithero
circuithero's picture

this is very true. could be from anything. i just don't touch the seats.

Sun, 02/13/2011 - 11:57
rocktheeps

leather saddle - pee resistant.

Sun, 02/13/2011 - 12:50
wickedwagon
wickedwagon's picture

but it clashes with their space age carpet fiber tri bike.

jordanpattern wrote:
BRING ME THE BINDERS OF WOMEN!

Sun, 02/13/2011 - 13:43
wickedwagon
wickedwagon's picture

but it clashes with their space age carpet fiber tri bike.

jordanpattern wrote:
BRING ME THE BINDERS OF WOMEN!

Sun, 02/13/2011 - 13:43
aek
aek's picture

Forgive my stupidity, but why can't they just train (to do their shoes up/mount their bikes) and get faster?

A friend's boyfriend was in a tri one day. It was a team thing so he only had to ride the bike, but still had his shoes clipped at the start and rode the whole thing without putting his feet in them...

Why not just....nevermind...

Him and his buddies came second to a mixed team.

doofo wrote:
tarck eats ur soul one lol at a time

Sun, 02/13/2011 - 15:53
deadforkinglast
deadforkinglast's picture

I once found a tri forum thread justifying peeing on your bike. I'll dig it up again tomorrow maybe, but it only took about thirty seconds of googling.

Sun, 02/13/2011 - 16:14
Jeremiah's Johnson
Jeremiah's Johnson's picture

They'd be confused by all the rando and think we are a bunch of long ballers.

~coco

Sun, 02/13/2011 - 16:31
crabbi
crabbi's picture

from the same geniuses.
why a road bike?

amateurendurance wrote:
Triathlon bikes are made for speed and the positions on them can often times make it very difficult to ride slow and easy. And quite honestly this slow and easy will do more for you next year than any set of race wheels. Plus, for whatever reason, aero bars seem to add a little more spice to a ride than there really needs to be. Riding a road bike allows us to cruise, take in the sights, chat with our buddies and can, for triathletes, remove some of the “need for speed” “go fast or go home” attitude that often times accompanies their rides

right, because whenever i see a person on a tri bike, they're going so fast that i can pass them sitting down at 20mph. seriously, why do all tratheletes go slow and when you do pass them, they feel the need to get onto your wheel? till you decide to drop them.

Sneaky Viking wrote:
if you're here, you probably fucked up somewhere along the line.

Sun, 02/13/2011 - 16:59
oogens
oogens's picture

so this guy just slowly cruises along, taking in the sights, chats with friends, and pees all over himself?

Sun, 02/13/2011 - 17:24
curiousincident
curiousincident's picture

lol seriously, i thought he said minutes were the enemy here.

if peeing on the bike is such an engrained part of tri culture why don't they make equipment to accommodate the ability to pee in a more dignified manner like the rest of us would on a long road race or grand tour?

then again maybe in that case it wouldn't really be tri anymore.

Sun, 02/13/2011 - 18:35
tjayk
tjayk's picture

if cyclists can whip it out and pee to the side with bibs, then a triathlete should be able to... oh wait, nevermind. that would be really dangerous.

Sun, 02/13/2011 - 19:17

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