Holy shit/Bike Shop lulz

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Endpoint
Endpoint's picture

Yesterday’s dumbass idea from the shop rats:

Barmitts made from taxidermy raccoons/possums/other common roadkill. “Var-mitts”.

Thu, 11/23/2017 - 08:51
jamey
jamey's picture

lollin at the airport

truckdoug "never turn down free beer, dont stick your dick where you wouldnt put your face, and always ride shimano"

Thu, 11/23/2017 - 09:09
deadforkinglast
deadforkinglast's picture

Upcycling. I like it.

Thu, 11/23/2017 - 10:57
eric_ssucks
eric_ssucks's picture
(Reply to #12704)

Endpoint wrote:
Yesterday’s dumbass idea from the shop rats:

Barmitts made from taxidermy raccoons/possums/other common roadkill. “Var-mitts”.

Comes with a box of breath fresheners; varmints.

Thu, 11/23/2017 - 13:00
littletinyfish
littletinyfish's picture
(Reply to #12705)

Endpoint wrote:
Yesterday’s dumbass idea from the shop rats:

Barmitts made from taxidermy raccoons/possums/other common roadkill. “Var-mitts”.

X-post to the Million Dollar Ideas thread and I will admit I'm into this.

this was a big deal a hundred years ago when everything sucked balls ---match avatar

Thu, 11/23/2017 - 14:11
jamesacklin
jamesacklin's picture
(Reply to #12706)

Endpoint wrote:
Yesterday’s dumbass idea from the shop rats:

Barmitts made from taxidermy raccoons/possums/other common roadkill. “Var-mitts”.

Nice

Thu, 11/23/2017 - 14:21
JUGE FREDD
JUGE FREDD's picture

you could try it out with stuffed animals first

these people would have some advice: https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/Plushie (do not click)

It's a struggle, but you cut out his tongue, and his last words are "atmo atmo Atmo ATMO ATMOOOOOGORIHGGHRSHGGRLMGGMMGMgrrglegurglegrr....."
– akasnowmaaan

Thu, 11/23/2017 - 16:06
eric_ssucks
eric_ssucks's picture

Do not click is good advice for most non-bike related links fred posts, TBH.

Thu, 11/23/2017 - 18:12
Rusty Piton
Rusty Piton's picture

Jesus Chris wtf Fred!

emor wrote:
Bicycle commuting is the worst way to get anywhere except for all the other ways.

Thu, 11/23/2017 - 19:21
Tail Hook Lengthener
Tail Hook Lengthener's picture
(Reply to #12710)

eric_ssucks wrote:
Do not click is good advice for most non-bike related links fred posts, TBH.

Sneaky Viking wrote:
when you look back at your life sometimes you see a set of hands on your keyboard and a set of paws, but sometimes there's only a set of paws and that's when Tarckbear was typing for you.

Thu, 11/23/2017 - 22:36
TimArchyLime
TimArchyLime's picture

Seriously. Writing do not click next to something guarantees that people will click on it. Not cool bro.

Snarky Varking wrote:
Tarckbike- Where mile 11 means you're on a long ride.

Thu, 11/23/2017 - 22:52
eric_ssucks
eric_ssucks's picture

You were warned!

Thu, 11/23/2017 - 22:54
euclid
euclid's picture
(Reply to #12713)

TimArchyLime wrote:
Seriously. Writing do not click next to something guarantees that people will click on it. Not cool bro.

You’re complaining that he warned you the link might be objectionable?? It’s encyclopedia dramatica; that alone should be enough to keep you away

Thu, 11/23/2017 - 23:53
TimArchyLime
TimArchyLime's picture

I'd never heard of encyclopedia dramatica. When I clicked, I got a ton of pop-ups and shit and didn't read whatever was written there. Was it funny?

Snarky Varking wrote:
Tarckbike- Where mile 11 means you're on a long ride.

Sat, 11/25/2017 - 10:13
euclid
euclid's picture

It was weird and sexually explicit. Funny? That’s subjective.

Sat, 11/25/2017 - 12:12
mander
mander's picture

sph

Sat, 11/25/2017 - 16:11
mander
mander's picture

PS, I thought it was funny

Sat, 11/25/2017 - 16:27
mdilthey
mdilthey's picture

Sexual shock and awe? Yeah, like 2006 Viva La Bam / Jackass kind of funny, I guess? HA HA HA

26/M/41t N/W

Sun, 11/26/2017 - 13:54
mander
mander's picture

This is different because it's real. It's a crazy thing that real people are really into. Honestly, I love stuff like this. I like to think of this as genuine anthropological interest in my fellow human beings.

Mon, 11/27/2017 - 23:09
Shortpants
Shortpants's picture

I've always believed in 'do not kink shame' but simultaneously just confused as to something like that. I tend to think it's a dysfunction instead of a legitimate kink but where does one draw that line? Consenting adults doing what makes them happy and harms no one? Good on ya.

Tue, 11/28/2017 - 00:34
Face
Face's picture
(Reply to #12721)

Shortpants wrote:
I've always believed in 'do not kink shame' but simultaneously just confused as to something like that. I tend to think it's a dysfunction instead of a legitimate kink but where does one draw that line? Consenting adults doing what makes them happy and harms no one? Good on ya.

Mr. Pubes wrote:
i fear that you are so lost in your own asshole that you may never be found again. do you have a flare gun? send for help.

Tue, 11/28/2017 - 09:49
DaFROG
DaFROG's picture

Wrong thread

We have assembled an international voltron of geometry, marketing and metallurgy experts working around the clock and have determined that your bike sucks

Tue, 11/28/2017 - 16:09
ThurberMingus
ThurberMingus's picture

This guy has been coming into my shop every few days for the last 2 months to piece together a 26” Disc Trucker with a Di2 Alfine hub.

Today he wheeled in the completed “project” and it might have been the worst bike I’ve ever seen.

Velo Orange Crazy Bars, chain tensioner, skinny 26” Marathons, absolutely horrible cable routing and bar position, loosely wrapped cloth tape on the “bullhorn” part of the handlebar, zero setback seatpost with a C17. Magura wet dicks for some reason? He put the battery in the handlebars ffs.

I really wanted to get a picture, but he was in and out pretty quick, and took the bike with him.

He took a great opportunity to make a decent yolobike and constantly failed in regards to component spec. It does have a dynamo though, so that’s pretty cool.

Tue, 11/28/2017 - 23:03
aerobear
aerobear's picture

pleeeease get a picture..
i need a visual.

crowding wrote:
Every time i eat Dick's I just wind up disappointed that I'm not getting In-n-Out.

Wed, 11/29/2017 - 00:05
NOVELTYNAME
NOVELTYNAME's picture

Oh my god
This is truly a white whale of shitbuilds
You must get a photo

"Folks want options!"

Wed, 11/29/2017 - 01:38
NOVELTYNAME
NOVELTYNAME's picture

How many layers of spacers on the steerer?

"Folks want options!"

Wed, 11/29/2017 - 01:39
ThurberMingus
ThurberMingus's picture

The spacer stack is actually pretty reasonable all things considered. Probably somewhere in the neighborhood of 60mm. He got confused running the rear brake cable (which is pretty long) and it was wrapped around the seatpost for some reason.

Instead of actually asking for help he just kept showing up with progressively weirder parts and now he has a three bong Walmart bike. I really hope he drops it off for a tuneup so we can get some pictures and try to make the thing look somewhat presentable. It’s almost like he’s never seen a bike before.

Wed, 11/29/2017 - 09:13
fixed
fixed's picture

brake cable
wrapped around
seatpost???????????????
how

Wed, 11/29/2017 - 12:24
Andrew_Squirrel
Andrew_Squirrel's picture

So its a hydro hose wrapped around a seatpost? wow

Wed, 11/29/2017 - 14:08
jamesacklin
jamesacklin's picture

This sounds incredible

Wed, 11/29/2017 - 14:13
Rentable Faxmachine
Rentable Faxmachine's picture

Folks want options.

Wed, 11/29/2017 - 14:18
ThurberMingus
ThurberMingus's picture

That’s the thing: the hydro hose was only one of the cables that was routed irrationally. There was a Di2 cable coming out of his handlebar. His front brake also did something goofy like wrap around the other side of the bars before going to the fork.

I don’t know how he didn’t look at his other bike (mail order KTM fattie of course) and reconsider his cable routing.

I knew it was going to be bad but I just didn’t understand how far he was trying to push it.

Now that it’s all together I feel like I won’t see him for a while and he probably feels like an idiot leaving his house with the thing.

Wed, 11/29/2017 - 15:57
Shortpants
Shortpants's picture

A new Wolverine prototype showed up today for us to build up. It has entirely new dropouts....that are still like 1.5" too far back. Otherwise they'd work great and solve the cantilevering issue. I even know what dropouts they're based off of so it's not like it's some new thing IRD just thought up and had no reference for. I have to wait till Sunday till I see the owner and tell him not to put that frame into full production.

Also had some rusty piece of shit bike come in where the presta valve was seized closed. Had to remove the valve core to deflate it. Except that didn't work either because it was a slimed tube and it was clogged up. So after removing the valve core I had to shove a pick up the valve to pop the slime membrane which then basically sneezed slime all over my hand.

Thu, 11/30/2017 - 01:24
mdilthey
mdilthey's picture
(Reply to #12734)

Shortpants wrote:
I even know what dropouts they're based off of

Which ones? I'm super curious

26/M/41t N/W

Thu, 11/30/2017 - 01:34
Shortpants
Shortpants's picture

2soulscycles

Thu, 11/30/2017 - 02:34
JUGE FREDD
JUGE FREDD's picture
(Reply to #12736)

Shortpants wrote:
so it's not like it's some new thing IRD just thought up and had no reference for

IRD has not done anything like that in like 25 years

the Merry IRD is exclusively knockoffs that a vendor already had samples of at the Taiperi Cycle Show

It's a struggle, but you cut out his tongue, and his last words are "atmo atmo Atmo ATMO ATMOOOOOGORIHGGHRSHGGRLMGGMMGMgrrglegurglegrr....."
– akasnowmaaan

Thu, 11/30/2017 - 03:47
Shortpants
Shortpants's picture

Yeah, I know. The point was to illustrate that they had install photos and not just a spec sheet. Also not everyone knows IRD, their connection to soma, or their history of how they bite designs. You don't always need to talk down to people.

Thu, 11/30/2017 - 03:54
mdilthey
mdilthey's picture
(Reply to #12738)

Shortpants wrote:
2soulscycles

?

26/M/41t N/W

Thu, 11/30/2017 - 03:54
Shortpants
Shortpants's picture

yup. and when the insert is pushed as far back as possible the axle (on that one) will be directly in line with the seatstays. Now imagine the seatstay was brazed on at the rightmost part of that dropout instead of in the middle. When the insert is fully extended it moves the axle about a full inch past the natural center of the chainstay.

Thu, 11/30/2017 - 03:59
sparksflyhigh
sparksflyhigh's picture
(Reply to #12740)

Shortpants wrote:
Also had some rusty piece of shit bike come in where the presta valve was seized closed. Had to remove the valve core to deflate it. Except that didn't work either because it was a slimed tube and it was clogged up. So after removing the valve core I had to shove a pick up the valve to pop the slime membrane which then basically sneezed slime all over my hand.

I won't miss working in a bike shop

Fri, 12/01/2017 - 02:10
littletinyfish
littletinyfish's picture
(Reply to #12741)

ThurberMingus wrote:
That’s the thing: the hydro hose was only one of the cables that was routed irrationally. There was a Di2 cable coming out of his handlebar. His front brake also did something goofy like wrap around the other side of the bars before going to the fork.

I don’t know how he didn’t look at his other bike (mail order KTM fattie of course) and reconsider his cable routing.

Do you think he was trying to avoid having to buy a hose/cable cutter? Like, was that housing pre-cut, and instead of cutting it to size, he wrapped it around the post to "shorten" it?

this was a big deal a hundred years ago when everything sucked balls ---match avatar

Fri, 12/01/2017 - 18:55
ThurberMingus
ThurberMingus's picture

Yeah that’s pretty much what happened. The hose was pretty long and he probably had no idea what the cable guides were supposed to be for.

Fri, 12/01/2017 - 19:16

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