Bike parts that exist but you wish didnt.

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Shortpants
Shortpants's picture

wait wtf is going on with the phone camera thing?

Fri, 11/24/2017 - 13:34
Viggen
Viggen's picture

It's a fucking switch for a light/bike horn...

Whippin Skidz wrote:
This is tarck, there is a complicated solution to everything and we will endlessly discuss until an agreed upon solution has been tabled. This is out of your hands now.

Fri, 11/24/2017 - 13:38
drwelby
drwelby's picture

You clip two plastic targets to your dangler and corncob and the phone tells you how to turn your barrel adjuster. I guess it can also tell you if the dangler or dangler hangler is bent.

Fri, 11/24/2017 - 13:39
liquify
liquify's picture

A 'smart horn'/lamp.

Oh, I had seen this company's tuning system, but it seemed a bit overpriced at $75, especially if you have to pay for the app use, too.

Fri, 11/24/2017 - 13:49
Andrew_Squirrel
Andrew_Squirrel's picture

.

Fri, 11/24/2017 - 14:46
mander
mander's picture

I know some freds like horns but I have always got good dBs just yelling at people. Also i just hate every Kickstarter smart bike product because you should.

Fri, 11/24/2017 - 14:47
eric_ssucks
eric_ssucks's picture
(Reply to #4707)

mander wrote:
I know some freds like horns but I have always got good dBs just yelling at people. Also i just hate every Kickstarter smart bike product because you should.

Solutions looking for a problem, all of them. All these smart solutions can be avoided by using your brain and the tools already available.

Fri, 11/24/2017 - 16:49
Endpoint
Endpoint's picture

We stock these. There actually pretty cool shartmo. The remote is a little bizarre. And those are not zip ties. Silicone bands.

Fri, 11/24/2017 - 20:29
Whippin Skidz
Whippin Skidz's picture
(Reply to #4709)

drwelby wrote:
You clip two plastic targets to your dangler and corncob and the phone tells you how to turn your barrel adjuster. I guess it can also tell you if the dangler or dangler hangler is bent.

That's what eyeballs are for though

Tue, 11/28/2017 - 09:56
Whippin Skidz
Whippin Skidz's picture

Does it shift well? No? Turn some things. Did it get worse? Turn the things the other way.

Tue, 11/28/2017 - 09:57
Viggen
Viggen's picture
(Reply to #4711)

Whippin Skidz wrote:
Does it shift well? No? Turn some things. Did it get worse? Turn the things the other way.

This is legit advise smiley

Whippin Skidz wrote:
This is tarck, there is a complicated solution to everything and we will endlessly discuss until an agreed upon solution has been tabled. This is out of your hands now.

Tue, 11/28/2017 - 14:40
DaFROG
DaFROG's picture

Surely tarck LLC could market a version of this as the dangler wrangler

We have assembled an international voltron of geometry, marketing and metallurgy experts working around the clock and have determined that your bike sucks

Tue, 11/28/2017 - 16:11
kmcdon
kmcdon's picture
(Reply to #4713)

DaFROG wrote:
Surely tarck LLC could market a version of this as the dangler wrangler

what about pusher shusher?

Tue, 11/28/2017 - 19:25
DaFROG
DaFROG's picture
(Reply to #4714)

kmcdon wrote:
DaFROG wrote:
Surely tarck LLC could market a version of this as the dangler wrangler

what about pusher shusher?

that's another set of clip on crap (with a special add on pack for SPAM yaw) and a separate app so we can sting people twice, maximising revenues

We have assembled an international voltron of geometry, marketing and metallurgy experts working around the clock and have determined that your bike sucks

Tue, 11/28/2017 - 20:35
Rentable Faxmachine
Rentable Faxmachine's picture

The SPAM Yaw kit consists of:

Tue, 11/28/2017 - 20:41
mdilthey
mdilthey's picture

Load up some Snapchat-style hats/masks and in-app purchases while we're at it.

26/M/41t N/W

Tue, 11/28/2017 - 21:13
NOVELTYNAME
NOVELTYNAME's picture

Countdown before pubes appropriates

"Folks want options!"

Tue, 11/28/2017 - 22:17
mdilthey
mdilthey's picture

He better not steal my avatar

26/M/41t N/W

Tue, 11/28/2017 - 22:47
Larry Winget
Larry Winget's picture
(Reply to #4719)

mdilthey wrote:
Load up some Snapchat-style hats/masks and in-app purchases while we're at it.

I thought this was Truck Nuts for a dangler for a minute.

The Pitbull of Personal Development®

Wed, 11/29/2017 - 03:45
Face
Face's picture
(Reply to #4720)

Larry Winget wrote:
mdilthey wrote:
Load up some Snapchat-style hats/masks and in-app purchases while we're at it.

I thought this was Truck Nuts for a dangler for a minute.

Dangler danglers

Mr. Pubes wrote:
i fear that you are so lost in your own asshole that you may never be found again. do you have a flare gun? send for help.

Wed, 11/29/2017 - 10:04
bward1028

Sat, 12/02/2017 - 13:13
chenghiz
chenghiz's picture
(Reply to #4722)

bward1028 wrote:

These bars are seriously wild looking irl

Sat, 12/02/2017 - 18:50
b-roll
b-roll's picture

What problem is that supposed to solve?

"You know it's dumb. I know it's dumb. But fuck it, I still love it."

Wed, 12/06/2017 - 19:39
Larry Winget
Larry Winget's picture
(Reply to #4724)

b-roll wrote:
What problem is that supposed to solve?

If you have attractive and functional bars on your bike those will take care of that.

The Pitbull of Personal Development®

Wed, 12/06/2017 - 19:49
jeffro
jeffro's picture

All the hand positions of a drop bar, none of the drop.

Wed, 12/06/2017 - 20:02
Whippin Skidz
Whippin Skidz's picture
(Reply to #4726)

bward1028 wrote:

Well that's not the worst threadless adapter I've ever se-- ...oh ...oh fuck.

Wed, 12/06/2017 - 20:56
Shortpants
Shortpants's picture
(Reply to #4727)

Whippin Skidz wrote:
bward1028 wrote:

Well that's not the worst threadless adapter I've ever se-- ...oh ...oh fuck.

what am I not seeing?

Wed, 12/06/2017 - 21:10
jamey
jamey's picture

it's going the wrong way

truckdoug "never turn down free beer, dont stick your dick where you wouldnt put your face, and always ride shimano"

Wed, 12/06/2017 - 21:14
Tail Hook Lengthener
Tail Hook Lengthener's picture
(Reply to #4729)

jamey wrote:
it's going the wrong way

luls

Sneaky Viking wrote:
when you look back at your life sometimes you see a set of hands on your keyboard and a set of paws, but sometimes there's only a set of paws and that's when Tarckbear was typing for you.

Wed, 12/06/2017 - 21:57
ckd
ckd's picture
(Reply to #4730)

b-roll wrote:
What problem is that supposed to solve?

Allow you to run dirt drops on your mtb if your mtb isn't designed for dirt drops.

Edit - specifically, you can run those bars without a crazy riser stem.

Spencer Raleigh, Medical Panini

Wed, 12/06/2017 - 22:23
b-roll
b-roll's picture

shit, I'm an acknowledged deadender and I see no reason for that shit.

"You know it's dumb. I know it's dumb. But fuck it, I still love it."

Wed, 12/06/2017 - 23:18
JUGE FREDD
JUGE FREDD's picture
(Reply to #4732)

jamey wrote:
it's going the wrong way

beans above the frank

It's a struggle, but you cut out his tongue, and his last words are "atmo atmo Atmo ATMO ATMOOOOOGORIHGGHRSHGGRLMGGMMGMgrrglegurglegrr....."
– akasnowmaaan

Thu, 12/07/2017 - 00:52
Face
Face's picture

Mr. Pubes wrote:
i fear that you are so lost in your own asshole that you may never be found again. do you have a flare gun? send for help.

Thu, 12/07/2017 - 01:43
lofarkas
lofarkas's picture

"Increasing agility and responsiveness through the reduction of turbulence within the wheel"

Umm, ok.

Thu, 12/07/2017 - 01:57
Rusty Piton
Rusty Piton's picture

Shut up those are awesome.

emor wrote:
Bicycle commuting is the worst way to get anywhere except for all the other ways.

Thu, 12/07/2017 - 09:31
jdsmooth
jdsmooth's picture

freelock that spencer no prob

Five-foot drops at speed on unstable terrain? Yep.

Thu, 12/07/2017 - 10:39
jamesacklin
jamesacklin's picture

One dollar per gram

Thu, 12/07/2017 - 10:46
Shortpants
Shortpants's picture
(Reply to #4738)

jdsmooth wrote:
freelock that spencer no prob

smiley

Thu, 12/07/2017 - 15:07
The RTS
The RTS's picture
(Reply to #4739)

I didn't know Spengle was still in business. I've got a NOS set of white tubbies that takes a 7 speed cassette.

Thu, 12/07/2017 - 15:35
wickedwagon
wickedwagon's picture

I like those. Not enough to actually ride a bike with them, but if I saw a bikea bike with them I'd be amused.

jordanpattern wrote:
BRING ME THE BINDERS OF WOMEN!

Thu, 12/07/2017 - 21:27
Shortpants
Shortpants's picture
Fri, 12/08/2017 - 15:23
shane.rrr
shane.rrr's picture

Imagine being the guy that was the hand model. Knowing that DOZENS of people out there are sitting on and enjoying scale models of your hands on their asses.

Fri, 12/08/2017 - 15:27
Andrew_Squirrel
Andrew_Squirrel's picture
(Reply to #4743)

Shortpants wrote:
how do I embed instagram shit?

https://www.instagram.com/p/BcbEQgzHxub/?taken-by=the_slickest_of_them_all

couple ways to do it but on desktop I right click anywhere on the page to "view page source", then Cntrl-F search for ".jpg" and typically the first URL it finds is the one you want.
i.e. https://scontent-sea1-1.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/e35/25013390_389148724868883_3659794723012345856_n.jpg

Fri, 12/08/2017 - 16:21
Perlhammered
Perlhammered's picture

What in sam hell is happening there?

Fri, 12/08/2017 - 17:02
newellbt
(Reply to #4745)

Perlhammered wrote:
What in sam hell is happening there?

it's a saddle that plays grab ass

Fri, 12/08/2017 - 19:20
b-roll
b-roll's picture

The perfect gift for your favorite disgraced politician.

"You know it's dumb. I know it's dumb. But fuck it, I still love it."

Fri, 12/08/2017 - 19:47
cheese
cheese's picture

is there a Trump edition in gold and orange?

Fri, 12/08/2017 - 19:47
b-roll
b-roll's picture

If his claims are correct it needs more fingers in the front.

"You know it's dumb. I know it's dumb. But fuck it, I still love it."

Fri, 12/08/2017 - 19:48
Nishiki
Nishiki's picture

Sat, 12/09/2017 - 04:42
Shortpants
Shortpants's picture
Sun, 12/10/2017 - 03:52

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