true confessions (but mostly stealth braggin')

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bexley
bexley's picture

I can't identify about 90% of the tarckers with new bear-based names. It's turned them into one strange collage of a person to me.

Sun, 11/29/2009 - 04:47
lofarkas
lofarkas's picture

bexley wrote:
I can't identify about 90% of the tarckers with new bear-based names. It's turned them into one strange collage of a person to me.

Confession 2: it wasn't that much better before everyone started switching usernames more frequently than they wash their jeans, either.
Confession 3: I hardly ever wash my jeans.

Sun, 11/29/2009 - 06:21
DDYTDY
DDYTDY's picture

wotan wrote:
littlebear wrote:
zombie wrote:
dun be scurred

i am slow and apprehensive and i don't handle very well, so i am embarrassed to ride with others and i feel like a loser. i think i feel like a worse rider after reading tarck all day and seeing how amazing everyone else is. i am really glad i just spilled all my insecurities to the internet!

You need to take your tandem on these rides. Also, tandems=most fun bikes ever.

Sun, 11/29/2009 - 10:11
EivlEvo
EivlEvo's picture

I bet that doing the little 500 or watching the little 500 would piss me off coz of the people doing it.

Sun, 11/29/2009 - 15:50
Elderbear
Elderbear's picture

True confession from 3 yrs ago: In order to experience teh urban feel of party foul riding before dropping dough on a track wheel, I locked the 6 speed freewheel on my Trek to the hub with bass guitar string, effectively making it a fixed gear. Rode it like this for like 2 months, then got the wheelset that is now on the green schwinn beater.

Now: haven't ridden any of my bikes other than teh Misfit for like two months, and I think it could stay like that for quite some time. We shall see. God, I love that bike.

johnnyraja wrote:
This is the most pointless conversation ever had on a forum entirely devoted to pointless conversation.

Sun, 11/29/2009 - 16:22
dougtruck
dougtruck's picture

i get embarrassed by my friends when they show up for 20 mi rides all spandor'd out

Sun, 11/29/2009 - 16:13
1percenttruck
1percenttruck's picture

white folks wrote:
i get embarrassed by my friends when they show up for 20 mi rides all spandor'd out

Man, you did exactly that when we did a 20 mile ride out on Marine Drive last summer.

Sun, 11/29/2009 - 17:11
Whippin Skidz
Whippin Skidz's picture

Sick burn.

Sun, 11/29/2009 - 17:40
tom

everythinghuskie wrote:
im having a hard time finding the difference. p.s. upside down #

thats the hardest part about racing

Sun, 11/29/2009 - 17:55
mander
mander's picture

I cut alll the brazeons off a 1982 marinoni special!

ffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuu

Sun, 11/29/2009 - 18:00
Tail Hook Lengthener
Tail Hook Lengthener's picture

That Marinoni has been fixied.

Sneaky Viking wrote:
when you look back at your life sometimes you see a set of hands on your keyboard and a set of paws, but sometimes there's only a set of paws and that's when Tarckbear was typing for you.

Sun, 11/29/2009 - 18:02
Sneaky Viking
Sneaky Viking's picture

shit just got real.

ckd wrote:
I mean, seriously. We're just a bunch of washed up bicycle burnout dipshits.

Sun, 11/29/2009 - 18:09
mander
mander's picture

: ( I'm strongly considering paying $300 or whatever to get it defixied by a local guy.

Sun, 11/29/2009 - 18:13
Patch
Patch's picture

Didn't you get it like that? or did you just lie/am I mistaken?

Sun, 11/29/2009 - 18:15
mander
mander's picture

You're mistaken. afaik ive never said anything that would indicate that I was not the dremelling idiot who fcked up tht bike.

Sun, 11/29/2009 - 18:24
Tail Hook Lengthener
Tail Hook Lengthener's picture

Yeah, I remember you talking about that years ago on BF.

Sneaky Viking wrote:
when you look back at your life sometimes you see a set of hands on your keyboard and a set of paws, but sometimes there's only a set of paws and that's when Tarckbear was typing for you.

Sun, 11/29/2009 - 18:26
crabbi
crabbi's picture

white folks wrote:
i get embarrassed by my friends when they show up for 20 mi rides all spandor'd out

I do this in the summer. But that's because it's 120 degrees out and I really don't feel like being soaking wet or being chaffed in my perennial region.

Sneaky Viking wrote:
if you're here, you probably fucked up somewhere along the line.

Sun, 11/29/2009 - 19:03
165
165's picture

Haagenize wrote:
I ride my bike to class which is only a mile away, not because I don't want to walk for 15 minutes, but because I like to ride my bike. If I'm early, I will take a detour to ride some more

I hate the "fixie" scene on campus, absolutely hate it

I hate this semester, these classes are so boring and I don't have the motivation to study for exams or do the homework

I am desperate for an intern

do you know robbie hummel? if u see him around campus, tell him yi mei says "wassup"

Sun, 11/29/2009 - 19:24
wickedwagon
wickedwagon's picture

confession: i like the oatmeal(what bear like, other comics) more than i should

jordanpattern wrote:
BRING ME THE BINDERS OF WOMEN!

Sun, 11/29/2009 - 19:51
anomaly

The hills in and around SF fucking kill me.

I am pretty slow and have terrible stamina.

I have small testicles though a large penis.

Mon, 11/30/2009 - 00:32
tom

i wonder what all the race photographers are doing with the photos they take during my races and then never post anywhere.

Mon, 11/30/2009 - 00:35
DangerCat
DangerCat's picture

i have an average size penis and HUGE balls

Mon, 11/30/2009 - 00:40
anomaly

littlebear wrote:
zombie wrote:
dun be scurred

i am slow and apprehensive and i don't handle very well, so i am embarrassed to ride with others and i feel like a loser. i think i feel like a worse rider after reading tarck all day and seeing how amazing everyone else is. i am really glad i just spilled all my insecurities to the internet!

You handle a bike as good or better than 95% of people on a bike, really.

Mon, 11/30/2009 - 00:41
halbritt
halbritt's picture

anomaly wrote:
The hills in and around SF fucking kill me.

Come to Oakland. The hills are nicer.

I'm fat and slow up hill, but you all knew that already.

...shift like jesus making one set of footprints in the sand in your time of need

Mon, 11/30/2009 - 00:42
DangerCat
DangerCat's picture

halbritt wrote:
anomaly wrote:
The hills in and around SF fucking kill me.

Come to Oakland. The hills are nicer.

I'm fat and slow up hill, but you all knew that already.

Thats what I was telling him.
Oakland hills ftw.

Also you are a demon going down hills

Mon, 11/30/2009 - 00:43
anomaly

Bear-O-Dactyl wrote:
i can't get myself to do a solo road ride more than 10 miles or a trainer/roller ride more than half an hour.

I can only do it when I have a destination. I had a 50 mile ride I used to do every Monday night because there was a place for me to go hang out at the half way point.

Mon, 11/30/2009 - 00:44
brandune
brandune's picture

walrus wrote:
i have a fancy wheel in the front and i'm slow as shit.

i trackstand at every light.

i'm not over tarck.

i can't ride further than a block without a full set of tools and a u-lock.

yes

Mon, 11/30/2009 - 01:12
teepz
teepz's picture

ITT it is revealed that tarck is full of slow ass pussies

Mon, 11/30/2009 - 01:16
Elderbear
Elderbear's picture

anomaly wrote:
Bear-O-Dactyl wrote:
i can't get myself to do a solo road ride more than 10 miles or a trainer/roller ride more than half an hour.

I can only do it when I have a destination. I had a 50 mile ride I used to do every Monday night because there was a place for me to go hang out at the half way point.

This. I never take long rides when there isn't something desirable at the end/halfway point, but when there is the miles seem to fly by. I really want to take a ridiculously long winter ride this year. I've never really done much more than commuting between the months of november and march cos freezing/snowy/icy. Teh misfit's current configuration could make this prospect a reality, though.

johnnyraja wrote:
This is the most pointless conversation ever had on a forum entirely devoted to pointless conversation.

Mon, 11/30/2009 - 01:19
Whippin Skidz
Whippin Skidz's picture

I'm a slow-ass pussy with a small penis.

Mon, 11/30/2009 - 01:27
surfcat
surfcat's picture

Elderberry wrote:
anomaly wrote:
Bear-O-Dactyl wrote:
i can't get myself to do a solo road ride more than 10 miles or a trainer/roller ride more than half an hour.

I can only do it when I have a destination. I had a 50 mile ride I used to do every Monday night because there was a place for me to go hang out at the half way point.

This. I never take long rides when there isn't something desirable at the end/halfway point, but when there is the miles seem to fly by. I really want to take a ridiculously long winter ride this year. I've never really done much more than commuting between the months of november and march cos freezing/snowy/icy. Teh misfit's current configuration could make this prospect a reality, though.

Interesting. I find I look forward to the adventure of a longer ride (like 80mi+). You never know what's gonna happen, but you know it's gonna happen.

I stop every 25-30 miles and get food / water / etc. On a longer ride (over 100mi) I stop and get a mocha and a pastry after 80-90 miles. Because I'm French as fuck when I wanna be.

Quote:
the gearing is perfect for quick execration

Mon, 11/30/2009 - 01:36
halbritt
halbritt's picture

Man, I had some croissants this morning that were phenomenal.

...shift like jesus making one set of footprints in the sand in your time of need

Mon, 11/30/2009 - 01:51
DBR
DBR's picture

mander wrote:
I cut alll the brazeons off a 1982 marinoni special!

ffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuu

shit DID just get real. Looks like you might of ran it into a wall as well. or is the fork meant to be kinked back a bit?

I ALMOST did this to my schwinn supersport and am so glad I didn't.

halbritt wrote:
Man, I had some croissants this morning that were phenomenal.

that's not really a confession.

Mon, 11/30/2009 - 03:48
mander
mander's picture

Der Blaue Reiter wrote:
mander wrote:
I cut alll the brazeons off a 1982 marinoni special!

ffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuu

shit DID just get real. Looks like you might of ran it into a wall as well. or is the fork meant to be kinked back a bit?

I ALMOST did this to my schwinn supersport and am so glad I didn't.

The fork might be a tiny bit bent from an otb crash, but that's mostly camera angle i think. It's not the worst thing in the world, though i definitely would counsel my past self not to do it. The weird thing is i didn't even want it to look like a fake track bike. My thought process was somehow that cutting the brazeons was necessary in order to have a "serious" road fg conversion... this was fucked up for sure, but who among us completely resisted the madness of the mid '00s fixie days?

Mon, 11/30/2009 - 09:13
biek

mander wrote:
but who among us completely resisted the madness of the mid '00s fixie days?

tru tru

i almost bought a nitto jag and nitto b123 track bars and put them on my first fg conversion- a converted fuji touring bike/frame with a suicide hub.
glad i never did that or hacked the brazeons.

pappaheugwang wrote:
u mad bro?

Mon, 11/30/2009 - 08:37
klondikebear
klondikebear's picture

anomaly wrote:
littlebear wrote:
zombie wrote:
dun be scurred

i am slow and apprehensive and i don't handle very well, so i am embarrassed to ride with others and i feel like a loser. i think i feel like a worse rider after reading tarck all day and seeing how amazing everyone else is. i am really glad i just spilled all my insecurities to the internet!

You handle a bike as good or better than 95% of people on a bike, really.

SUP-WIFED

Mon, 11/30/2009 - 09:40
Tail Hook Lengthener
Tail Hook Lengthener's picture

It pains me to think of all the good frames that were lost to the Fixed Gear Building Boom (which, coincidentally or not, coincided with the house building boom). The general consensus on Bike Forums, a point I vigorously argued again, used to basically be that anything that wasn't Italian was fair game for hacking/painting/etc. I'm not talking about your Schwinn Varsity conversion - I can remember numerous times when people posted nice Japanese stuff like old triple-butted Koga Miyatas or Nishikis, and the crowd of pre-cyclocrossers would say "it's just a bike boom bike, it's not worth anything. Shave off those braze ons and make yourself a sweet fixie!!@#"

Sneaky Viking wrote:
when you look back at your life sometimes you see a set of hands on your keyboard and a set of paws, but sometimes there's only a set of paws and that's when Tarckbear was typing for you.

Mon, 11/30/2009 - 09:45
Rusty Piton
Rusty Piton's picture

I have at least three bikes that I'd really like to sell, but haven't really taken any steps to do so because I'm so damn lazy.
Buying bikes is way easier than selling them.

emor wrote:
Bicycle commuting is the worst way to get anywhere except for all the other ways.

Mon, 11/30/2009 - 09:46
Tail Hook Lengthener
Tail Hook Lengthener's picture

biekridder wrote:
i almost bought a nitto jag and nitto b123 track bars and put them on my first fg conversion- a converted fuji touring bike/frame with a suicide hub.
glad i never did that or hacked the brazeons.

I can't tell you how many internet fights I've started because some dumbass wants/is running NJS parts on his hi-ten Raleigh conversion. No matter what, they always insist that it's comfortable, no matter how poorly these parts conform to the human anatomy.

Sneaky Viking wrote:
when you look back at your life sometimes you see a set of hands on your keyboard and a set of paws, but sometimes there's only a set of paws and that's when Tarckbear was typing for you.

Mon, 11/30/2009 - 09:49
klondikebear
klondikebear's picture

Do you guys think the "fixie" boom hits different spots of the US at different times? because this year I've seen the biggest increase in conversions on campus ever

Mon, 11/30/2009 - 10:03
Tail Hook Lengthener
Tail Hook Lengthener's picture

Well it shouldn't exactly be news to anyone that things happen on the coasts first, and gradually work their way inward.

Sneaky Viking wrote:
when you look back at your life sometimes you see a set of hands on your keyboard and a set of paws, but sometimes there's only a set of paws and that's when Tarckbear was typing for you.

Mon, 11/30/2009 - 10:05
Elderbear
Elderbear's picture

Sometimes I overhear the buyer at our shop talking with reps about the "fixie scene" and have to restrain myself from saying something about how three years ago anodized parts n' all that are at this point.

johnnyraja wrote:
This is the most pointless conversation ever had on a forum entirely devoted to pointless conversation.

Mon, 11/30/2009 - 11:45
Toast
Toast's picture

at a used sports good store, i bought a castelli women's rain jacket with two big slashes in each sleeve near the cuff
either this will be my best bike purchase ever, or it will sit and mock me as a waste of $17

Mon, 11/30/2009 - 11:53
DBR
DBR's picture

toast wrote:
at a used sports good store, i bought a castelli women's rain jacket with two big slashes in each sleeve near the cuff
either this will be my best bike purchase ever, or it will sit and mock me as a waste of $17

good buy I say. my friends routinely dumpsterdive REI where they slash thrown away product. Friends then cover the slash with seam sealant and stitch it together. Looks punk as fuck and works for ages on hiking boots, gloves, jackets, whatever.

Mon, 11/30/2009 - 12:57
toddistic
toddistic's picture

i just tried to fart at my desk and ended up oozing shit outta my ass. went to the bathroom to check, yep, shit myself. luckly i carry an extra pair of underwear in my bag in case i get rained on during my morning commute. i'm all cleaned up now and feeling fresh!

Mon, 11/30/2009 - 13:27
tjayk
tjayk's picture

toddistic wrote:
i just tried to fart at my desk and ended up oozing shit outta my ass. went to the bathroom to check, yep, shit myself. luckly i carry an extra pair of underwear in my bag in case i get rained on during my morning commute. i'm all cleaned up now and feeling fresh!

keep that shit to yourself, man. tmi.

Mon, 11/30/2009 - 14:02
toddistic
toddistic's picture

hahahahaha

Mon, 11/30/2009 - 14:06
cookietruck
cookietruck's picture

mander wrote:
I cut alll the brazeons off a 1982 marinoni special!

ffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuu

deserve to fork over that monies to correct the frame and then ride the fugger all the way up to canada for a PITD from Giuseppe himself.

Mon, 11/30/2009 - 16:58
cookietruck
cookietruck's picture

surfimp wrote:
Elderberry wrote:
anomaly wrote:
Bear-O-Dactyl wrote:
i can't get myself to do a solo road ride more than 10 miles or a trainer/roller ride more than half an hour.

I can only do it when I have a destination. I had a 50 mile ride I used to do every Monday night because there was a place for me to go hang out at the half way point.

This. I never take long rides when there isn't something desirable at the end/halfway point, but when there is the miles seem to fly by. I really want to take a ridiculously long winter ride this year. I've never really done much more than commuting between the months of november and march cos freezing/snowy/icy. Teh misfit's current configuration could make this prospect a reality, though.

Interesting. I find I look forward to the adventure of a longer ride (like 80mi+). You never know what's gonna happen, but you know it's gonna happen.

I stop every 25-30 miles and get food / water / etc. On a longer ride (over 100mi) I stop and get a mocha and a pastry after 80-90 miles. Because I'm French as fuck when I wanna be.

oh come on. a real french wannabe would have all that stuff stashed in their front rando bag so they wouldn't even have to stop pedaling...oh wait maybe that's a silly german wanna be *cough*jan*cough*.

Mon, 11/30/2009 - 17:00
wickedwagon
wickedwagon's picture

cookietruck wrote:
mander wrote:
I cut alll the brazeons off a 1982 marinoni special!

ffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuu

deserve to fork over that monies to correct the frame and then ride the fugger all the way up to canada for a PITD from Giuseppe himself.

had to look up giuseppe, but lololol

confession: i get easily frustrated when something goes wrong on my bike

jordanpattern wrote:
BRING ME THE BINDERS OF WOMEN!

Mon, 11/30/2009 - 22:16

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